A Stumbler's Walk to Christmas | DOUBT

Are you the one...?

- Luke 7:19

We should never doubt. Right? Well, I doubt that's possible. (See where this is going?)

Doubt is the opposite of faith. Right? I'm not so sure about that one either. 

I consider myself a faithful doubter. I believe in a God I cannot prove.* I trust a God who seemingly leaves me hanging at times. I talk to a God who has never responded in a way my ears could register. Now before I paint the wrong picture, allow me to loudly agree with Paul's words to his young protege:

I know whom I have believed, 

And am persuaded that he is able

To keep that which I've committed

Unto him against that day.

- (classic hymn version of) 2 Timothy 1:12

I know. Yet I doubt. I trust. Yet I struggle for control. You may think me weak. But I think I'm in good company: People with names like Sarah, Abraham, David... and a Baptist named John. 

In the seventh chapter of Luke we find Jesus' ministry exploding. People are being healed, sight is restored, and even a dead kid is restored to life. (Doubt that's true? I don't!) In the midst of this John sends some friends to Jesus. He can't go himself. He is in prison. He has been imprisoned by a depraved king for being faithful to his call. 

John sends his comrades with one question for Jesus - well, kind of a two-parter. "Are you the one?" "Or should we keep looking?"

Remember it was John that baptized Jesus. I'm sure John grew up hearing ...your cousin the Messiah... stories from his mother. It was John who said, "Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world," as Jesus approached him at the muddy banks of the Jordan River. It was John who saw the Holy Spirit descend on the dripping wet Jesus when he came up out of the water. It was John who heard the disembodied voice from heaven rumble, "This is my Son..."

And now John doubts. Belief is easy on the banks of the Jordan. Doubt creeps in with the mildew and dank frigidity of a cell. We have all lived this; though our cells vary in their specifics. In self-reflective loneliness we ask the questions. And doubt creeps. 

My goal here is not to obliterate doubt. I can't. Nor is it to point the accusing finger at doubters. I can't. I simply want to say, "Welcome to the club!" And I want to point out how Jesus responded to the doubting question. "Tell John what you see." Jesus is saying to them, "The prophecies of Isaiah about the coming Messiah are being fulfilled right in front of you. Go tell my cousin, 'Yes, I'm the one. Yes, the Kingdom of God has invaded earth.'"

But that is only part of Jesus' response. He then turns to those within earshot and says, in essence, "There has never been a person of greater faith than John." The doubter is exalted for his faith. In that I find comfort. In it I find strength. 

A man in need once answered a question of Jesus in an humble and honest way:

Jesus: "Do you believe?"

Man: "I believe. Please help my unbelief!"

I love the honesty. I love the faith shining through doubt. 

I think God does too.

God, I have my doubts, but I believe. I believe!

For now...

D

*The fact that God cannot be "proven," does not necessitate that Christianity is anti-intellectual.  Faith is not a prescription to check one's brain at the door. Christian faith is intellectual. And some of the greatest intellectuals in history have been men and women of faith: from the social sciences to medicine, from biology to cosmology, from physics to philosophy. Yes faith will always be a component. But the idea that Christianity is anti-intellectual is in itself, an anti-intellectual argument. Christians must be open to honest dialogue. Those attacking Christianity should be open to the same.