Yesterday afternoon I had the "opportunity" to squeeze into a Delta window seat on an airplane the size of a Volkswagen. I typically hold my breath as I watch people come down the aisle, quietly saying to myself, "I hope it's her... I hope it's her..." and occasionally, "I hope it's him..." wondering who will be my new best friend for the next two hours. Before you think that's creepy, my one criterion? Small. I want a petite person to sit next to.
The big biker that slowed at my row did not fit the bill. We exchanged an OK, so this is how it is glance, and he folded himself into the aisle seat. I said, "How are you doing?" He quipped, "... living the dream."
The next two hours was a dance of steel-toe-boot footsie and obligatory shoulder bumper-cars. Both seasoned travelers, and big guys, we knew the game; without a word, "You go forward, I'll go back... switch..."
Despite being a human Pringle I did what I do best on flights: I fell into a hard, yet contorted sleep. However, I woke up just in time for the Belvitas. (Peanuts are a thing from flights long past.)
I groggily asked my row-mate if KC was home. He said it is and that he'd been working in Detroit and spending a lot of time in the air. (Very familiar territory.) Then he said it again, "I'm just living the dream." But the way he said it struck me. "Are you?" I wondered. "Are you really living the dream? Am I?"
As we talked I realized his work wasn't his dream. But it fueled his dream. It enabled his passion. And that's a good thing. He enjoyed his work, and it gave him some freedom to pursue a dream. And what could be better?
I'm on a fence here. On one side I think, Follow your dreams and don't settle. On the other, are some of the harsh realities that life brings. You know the ones that sometimes force us into choices that aren't quite dreamlike.
Follow your dreams is great at high school commencements. Student loans water it down just a bit at college graduations. (Mike Rowe - Dirtiest Jobs Mike Rowe - has an interesting take on the subject, but you'll have to do the Google work.) The real world, not the MTV version but the real thing, can be a face-smacker. The realness of reality creates demands of our energies, our time, and even our dreams.
Life is more complex than any bumper-sticker theology or inspirational meme. Life happens. And in the process dreams sometime fade. That said, I admit to being a dreamer - even at my age. Even with the Niagara Falls of water already under the bridge. I'm a dreamer. There, I said it.
I remember a line that struck me from the 1983 cinematic masterpiece Flashdance. In a poignant moment Nick says to Alex, the hip-hop-ballet-dancing welder who ran-in-placed herself into every young man's fantasy, "Don't you understand... you give up your dream, you die!"
We are all damaged in some way: damaged psyches, damaged relationships, damaged dreams. But that's OK. As a matter of fact, it's better than OK. It's human. And it's incredible.
Dreaming of being an astronaut as a four-year-old is easy. Continuing to dream as a 40, 50, 60-something is fantastic and difficult. The content of the dream may change. Gone are the spacesuits, to be replaced with... well, I won't attempt to fill in your blank.
As often when I begin to emote on the keyboard, my thought hasn't run it's course. But my time has. I think I have a bunch more to say. And if you've made it even this far through my rambling, you are a warrior. And I thank you.
So, more to come.
Keep living the dream!
For now...
D
