A Stumbler's Walk to Christmas | HOW...?

How...?

-- Luke 1:18,34

In the first chapter of Luke's Gospel we come across two hows...?. Both are asked after an angel's declaration. (I'd like to think the awesome-light-being-appearance-do-not-be-afraid!-thing would be enough for me. I want to believe that how...? would be out of the equation...

I'd like to think BELIEF would be BIGGER than HOW...? But my belief is often (usually?) swallowed by my hows...? 

Zechariah asks how...? when Gabriel announces his wife Elizabeth is pregnant. And no, it is not a case of Zechariah being naive. More so, Zechariah is being a realist. He is old. Elizabeth is old.

They are too old.

There is a lot in that last statement. (Maybe for you; I know there is for me.)

They are too old. A brief four word sentence that carries SO much weight. So much baggage. So much loss. So much dream-death. As I think about it, we bring our dream-death baggage constantly into the present. Our belief is blocked by it. Our vision is skewed.

I am too old... We can replace old with so many other toos: 

I am too young... 

I am too poor... 

I am too unimportant... 

I am too messed up...

I am too _____________

Before Zechariah's response that he and his wife are too old, he asks a question: "How will I know this?" What we will see in in a bit, is though Zechariah and Mary ask the same basic question - How...?, their hows...? are fundamentally different.

Zechariah's how...? is a statement of disbelief. His how...? is an indication of his heart. Remember, Zechariah is a Temple priest. He is a faithful guy. We never read that he is crooked or that he is stealing doves from the alter to make hat bands for sale. Luke writes that he and Elizabeth were, "... righteous before God, walking blamelessly in the commandments and statutes of the Lord." 

And yet Zechariah can't see it. The angel speaks: "Your prayer has been heard..."  In essence, Zechariah answers: "There is too much past for that to be my future." 

THERE IS TOO MUCH PAST FOR THAT TO BE MY FUTURE...

This is the how...? with which many of us struggle. How can that promise be for me? How can it be my future? I have too much past for that to be real. 

I wish I had the eloquence to state this in a way that could really connect with your heart (and mine). All that I can do is write it and pray God drills it home: Your future is in no way dependent on your past!

YOUR FUTURE IS NOT DEPENDENT ON YOUR PAST

I am too __________

However you filled in the blank - No your are not! Nor am I.

God, overcome my I am toos... Overpower my hows...?!

For now...
D

_____________________________________

How...?

-- Luke 1:18,34

So straight to it. (This is dragging on and we are all busy.)

There are two how? questions asked in Luke's first chapter. At first glance they seem similar. First glances can be deceiving; or at least limited. There is a subtle difference in the questions. Maybe better stated, there is a difference in the belief behind the questions.

So what is the difference in the two questions - the two hows?. Here it is (and this is very much my interpretation. Feel free to disagree.): One how? is a question of doubt. The other how? is a question of amazement and wonder. (Yep, you read all this way to get to that.)

How? can reveal a heart of doubt.

How? can express faithful wonder. 

Zechariah asks how? when told by God, through an angel that his wife Elizabeth is going to bear a son.* In his how? we hear doubt and disbelief. Now I don't want to be too hard on old Z. First, he's faithfully served God and the people his entire life. Secondly, I can be the king of DOUBTING HOW? and don't have quite enough hypocrite in me to point the finger.

Gabriel confirms Zechariah's how? is a doubting how?: "You will be silent and unable to speak until the time... because you did not believe my words..." (v10). It is easy to read right through that. I wonder why God, via Gabriel, shut down Zechariah's ability to speak.

The angel's response to Z's how? seems a little harsh. "You won't be able to speak until this promise is fulfilled; until your son is born." Every time I've read this I thought: "Dang, a bit much." Mute for at least nine months. (Who knows, maybe this was a literal God-send to his wife Elizabeth.)

Is this punishment? Maybe. But I don't think that's really it. The writer of Hebrews tells us God lovingly disciplines his children. It can be unpleasant and confusing. But our Father is purposeful in carving our character and shaping us more into the image of Jesus.**

However, I think there is more going on. Zechariah is given an incredible promise. He can't wrap his mind around it. He can't wrap his faith around it. And his words verbalize his doubt. More than that - his words betray the heart of faith he has always had.

Remember, Gabriel confirms that Zechariah has been praying for this very thing - a son. God has heard and answered. Jesus said, "Ask... Seek... Knock..." Too often, this is where I fail (you?). I don't ask enough. I don't seek relentlessly. I don't knock until my knuckles hurt. But apparently Zechariah has.

So I have this question: Though Zechariah has served his God faithfully; though Zechariah has asked his God specifically; has Zechariah forgotten that his God loves him personally?

I am too old... Not, "God, you can't pull it off." Not, "God this is over even you're powerfully-exalted head."

I am the problem... I am the weak variable in this equation. 

It is almost as if God answers: "Yes, you are correct. Yes, you are weak. Yes, you are too old. Yes, you are a faithful waverer... a Stumbler Walking. Shush now. Silence. Quiet yourself. And watch this..."

You are too weak... But I am powerful.

You are too old... But I am the Ancient of Days.

You are not... But I Am!

Now be quiet. Be quiet and know that I am God.

Your words are betraying you. 

They are falsely making your doubts to be bigger than your faith.

The last words you spoke were words of doubt.

With your next words you will name a son!

Zechariah's words reflect my heart. God's response overwhelms my spirit. 

Here is some good news: Even in Zechariah's doubt, God fulfilled his promise.

A reminder: God is not bound by our doubts. He is bigger.

God, I am all the things that make it impossible. You are the One who makes all things possible. As a father once responded to Jesus, "I believe. Please help me in my unbelief!"

For now,
D