And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted.
-- Matthew 28:17
Doubt is not the opposite of faith. Do not be discouraged by your doubt.
Men and women followed Jesus for years. They gave up careers, livelihoods, dreams, and even relationships to be witnesses of this light that walked into darkness; this water that quenched the parchedness of desert-life.
Now, after dreams had been crushed and hope vanquished, word has come - he is alive. The one who was crucified is risen. "Go," they are told, "meet him on the mountain." And they go.
There, the once-dead shows up - alive. Flesh and blood. Real. Living.
They worship him. That is what one does when the horrifically crucified shows up alive and well. They worship him...
... and they doubt.
It is easy for us to ask how they could doubt; seeing what they are seeing; experiencing the presence of a resurrected Jesus. How can they doubt? In reality, I would doubt too. But there on that mountain, they don't just doubt. They worship and doubt.
Doubt is not the opposite of faith. Do not be discouraged by your doubt. That is much easier said than done. We do get discouraged by our doubt. Worse, we begin to fear our doubt.
And fear is the opposite of faith.
If you struggle with doubt, worship and doubt. Fear cannot stand in the presence of worship. Faith increases. And though doubt may not completely exit stage left, it is moved to the corner.
When the living Jesus stands in the spotlight of our lives, doubt scoots to the shadows. Doubt will (no doubt) reappear. That is OK. Do not fear it.
Worship and doubt.
God, I will worship you through my doubts. And you will overcome the fear my doubts create.
For now...
D
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