SUCCESS VERTIGO

After the Comparison Kills post last week a friend emailed me the following: So who are you and what defines your success? I called to tell him it was not cool to use my questions on me. What followed was a discussion about personal identity, perspective and the deep meaning of success (oh, and the necessity for me to eat my own cooking).

I think I'm pretty solid on the first part of the question. I have a realistic sense of who I am. It's the second part I wrestle with. And what initially sparked the Comparison Kills post was the idea that each of us has our personal definition of success - or at least an opaque idea of it. How far down the success path we see ourselves absolutely affects our self-perception (the who we are part).  We align ourselves, our attitudes and actions, accordingly to what we value and believe. This is how habits, good and bad, get embedded into our lives. Do something repeatedly and it eventually becomes a part of you. The sum of the parts... IS YOU.

I have an advantage in this blog. I freely admit I am a novice. A sojourner. I wish I could write from a been there, done that... now take my advice perspective. Sorry, that's not the case. I'm on the journey. (I'm guessing you can relate?) In part, I am searching for my definition of success. I almost have it in the cross-hairs, but the here to there part of the equation is silently screaming for more clarity. (I hope to write what will probably be a pretty personal post about it soon.)

Linked to this is my deep belief that our culture suffers from VALUES VERTIGO. It seems we are flying completely upside down at times; all the while calling up down and down up. Sorry, but also for an upcoming post I plan to call THE GRAVEYARD SPIRAL (any pilot reading this just shuddered!). I won't give away the ending now. But if you're wondering where I'm going with it, allow me to illustrate by simply saying two words about "Success" in 21st century American culture: Kim Kardashian. Nobel prize? Nope. Sports hero (whoa, trouble there too), but nope. Artist? Author? Activist? Business Leader? Role model? No. No. No. No. And please, God, NO! Why is she famous (which is a pop-culture substitute for successful)? For self-promotion and a big butt.

Ironically, this is what I wore to the party. 

Sorry for the rant. And I don't mean to be cutting. But truly, a pop-culture success mentality has seeped into every area of the mainstream, and into our thinking. The problem? It is antithetical to most of our deeply held values. The result is Values Vertigo. And this leads to a skewed view of true success. Case in point; we judge people by what they do (for work) rather than who they are. Remember my two friends at the party? (See post Comparison Kills). Obviously, my career path didn't rate in their success paradigm. They handed me the goofy over-sized sledge hammer: "What do you do? I took it and swung hard: "I'm a pastor." But the bell did not ring! I shouldn't be too hard on them; we all make judgments.

So back to the questions at hand:

So who are you and what defines your success?

I obviously have a lot of work to do to get to the heart of true success. But this is a blog, not a book. I'm going to leave it here for now. Do me a favor if you will. Close your eyes (unless you are driving and reading this on your phone - in which case you have a whole different set of potential problems). Ask yourself, Who am I (really) and what defines my success?

Close them again (because I know you didn't cheat the first time). Now envision success... you as a phenomenal success. What does it look like? What do you see? (I see faces... not things).

For now...
D