RE-FIRST

FIRST, an admission: I didn't get to this post FIRST; like I planned. My grand scheme was to write my LAST post of 2014 on 12/31/14 and my FIRST post of 2015 on 1/1/15. Ironically, it was entitled FIRST and is still in draft form on my dashboard. Great plan... poor execution. But here is a good spot to make a point: IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR FIRSTS. As a matter of fact, a RE-FIRST can actually be better than a first FIRST.

RE-FIRST... I Googled it and came up with nothing. (Is it possible I actually had an original thought? Now that would be a FIRST!)

There is a dark side to RE-FIRSTs. A RE-FIRST carries with it some pain. Within a RE-FIRST is a smidge of defeat, a slight aroma of regret, a hint of woundedness, But there is a great upside to RE-FIRSTs. The first is the re. RE can mean many things. Another search turns up: With reference to or regarding; and the second tone of the diatonic scale in solfeggio. (I don't know what that one means, but I have seen The Sound of Music).

To be honest, neither of those lights me up. But this one catches my attention:

FIRSTs that don't go so well set us up for one of my favorite things (Whoops! Was that another Sound of Music reference?). OK, back on point. One of my favorite things... COMEBACKS. Comebacks are RE-FIRSTS played out; and I'm a sucker for them. Cinderella Man, Maximus Decimus Meridius. The Man in Black. Rocky. I readily admit the cheese factor, but I love a comeback.

None of us is too far gone for a comeback. As a matter of fact, the further down you may see yourself, the better staged you are for a comeback. But first things first. Literally. To make a comeback we must do the first things first. In other words, we must RE-FIRST.

So maybe your first for 2015 was to hit the gym. You promised yourself, bought a membership and posted it on Facebook - maybe even with your before picture. But you don't have an after... YET! (By the way, I'm using the gym analogy because it's easy, but hopefully you catch the universal application).

So this is my FIRST message of 2015. You haven't failed! You're just in prime position for a RE-FIRST!

For now...
D

LAST...12/31/2014; 11:59:59

Last.
What comes to mind when you read/hear that word? LAST. In most things I tend to lean toward the optimistic, but have to admit that LAST creates in me a negative feeling. I don't like being last. Last in line. Last place. Last one at the party. Last is Lonely. Last is Loser.

A Google search for LAST brings (among some weird things)... Last place... last minute (or worse, last second)... last laugh... last thing... last stand... last word... last chance... and on it goes.

I have another "L" word. How about Last as Legacy! How about Last as LASTing?

Today is the last day of 2014. We will reflect and reminisce. We'll watch montages of the best of and worst of the year. We will more than likely over-glorify the good and over-vilify the bad as we sing Auld Lang Syne. Personally 2014 was for the most part a fantastic year. But my hope is that it pales to 2015. Last year was last year. After all, Auld Lang Syne literally means Old Long Since. 2014 is no more. With one tick of the second hand 2014 will pass into past. AND ONLY WHAT WAS BUILT TO LAST WILL LAST! 

I invite you to produce a Pass List and a Last List. (Just a few thoughts below to get you - and me - started.)

Pass List:

Troubles pass...

Trials pass...

Shallow victories pass...

Disappointments pass...

Untrue friends pass... 

Last List:

Character Lasts...

Relationships Last...

Faith Lasts...

Family Lasts...

Purpose Lasts...

So my goal is to take these things that LAST 

and make them FIRST in 2015.

For now...
D

DIAMOND CRASH - (Graveyard Spiral Addendum)

Due to my father's job, I spent a lot of time around airports and aircraft growing up, Among many great memories were the airshows and practice runs we attended. I especially loved the fast, loud fighter jets. I was awestruck as they ripped by at such speed and so incredibly close to the ground. My favorites were The Thunderbirds, the U.S. Air Force flight demonstration team.

The Thunderbirds originated the DIAMOND formation which is used by flight demonstration teams around the world. The diamond is formed by four aircraft in a tight formation. Two planes fly within feet of the leader's wings and one plane flies closely behind, just off the leader's tail. The diamond pulls off amazing high-speed maneuvers as if the four were one airplane; all the while two solo aircraft zip in front, behind and all over the sky.

The key to the diamond is that three pilots play a high-speed game of follow the leader. The two pilots on the leader's wings and the one behind focus on nothing but the lead plane. As he climbs they climb. as he rolls they roll. As he banks they bank. And on a training run on January 18, 1982 at Indian Springs Air Field, Nevada; as he crashes they crash.

Though it was first thought to be pilot error, investigators finally ruled that the stabilizer in the leader's plane malfunctioned. The Diamond had climbed several thousand feet and wing-to-wing, pulled through an inside loop. Together, they began their descent, screaming downward at over 400 miles per hour. The dive was to level out at 100 feet as the Diamond would rocket by the crowd. Investigators speculate the pilots of planes #2, #3 and #4 never saw the ground. According to their training, the pilots never broke formation. Onlookers said the four hit the ground just the way they flew - as one.

I cannot express the respect I have for all U.S. Military men and women and their incredible call to duty on the behalf of others. Nor can I fathom the awe of flying a fighter jet at over mach 1.  I'm writing this corollary to The Graveyard Spiral to draw an analogy and make a point. The focus of the Thunderbirds #2, #3 and #4 that January day in 1982 is an incredible (and necessary) thing. They did exactly as they were trained to do. However, their leader was in trouble; his aircraft was broken. He was headed toward disaster. And they never knew it.

The point I want to make is the same as that of the last post. We each fly (our lives) with our focus fixed on something. We are just off the wing, or just behind a leader; whether it be a person, a dream, a religion... you fill in the blank. Here is the point: As you fly, make certain the thing you follow most closely doesn't have a busted plane.  

(By the way, I try to fly behind One whose course is always true. He's never allowed me to crash yet, though I've often felt like ejecting! I believe he flew from heaven to earth and invited me to join his Diamond.)

For Now...

D

STEERING OUT OF THE GRAVEYARD SPIRAL

On July 16, 1999 a single engine Piper Saratoga piloted by John F. Kennedy Jr. crashed into the turbulent waters off the Martha's Vineyard coast. Kennedy and his two passengers, wife Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy and sister-in-law Lauren Bessette, were killed instantly upon impact. The NTSB concluded that Kennedy, "...failed to maintain control of the airplane during a descent over water at night which was a result of spatial disorientation."

Spatial disorientation used to be known as Pilot Vertigo. In extreme cases, a pilot loses awareness of his or her position in reference to surroundings. Senses begin to lie and the natural reaction is to respond to the bad information in ways that only increase the catastrophic nature of the situation. Often the result is a deadly occurrence known as GRAVEYARD SPIRAL.

A ten-year study conducted by the U.S. Air Force concluded that 25 to 30 percent of high-performance aircraft crashes were due to pilot spatial disorientation. Highly trained, competent and experienced pilots, sometimes in perfect weather, but more often in poor conditions, have suffered spatial disorientation and found themselves unwittingly in the Graveyard Spiral. In extreme cases, pilots have crashed state of the art fighter jets into the ocean or ground at over 600 miles per hour while completely unaware of their position relative to the earth.

The phenomenon begins when a pilot banks the aircraft in a turn. At some point in the banked turn (around 20 seconds) the sensation to the pilot is that the plane is level. We have all experienced this to a very minor degree on an airliner. The pilot then level the wings, but the changing sensation feels as if the plane has banked in the opposite direction, when in fact, it is level. Responding to the sensation, the pilot will again bank into the turn. The aircraft dips causing the loss of lift and a nose-down attitude. Seeing the altimeter spinning downward, the pilot's natural response is to pull the nose up in order to pull out of the dive. The result however, is the exact opposite and is often catastrophic. In attempting to pull the nose up, all the pilot accomplishes is an ever tightening spiral with decreased lift and a quicker descent toward the ground.

The key to pulling out of the Graveyard Spiral is to set 

focus on the horizon - whether the true horizon or the 

instrument horizon which is oriented to the true. 

So enough for the aeronautical lecture (plus, that's all I understand). Here's the bottom line - sometimes your senses will lie to you. Sometimes the information we take in and rely on is incorrect or incomplete. Therefore we must have a horizon ... a compass... something true to which we orient ourselves. It is the only way to keep the wings (of life) level and the attitude true. (Maybe you've heard it said, "your attitude - a flying term for nose up/down orientation - affects your altitude.")

So what does this have to do with success? Everything! To be truly successful, we must be oriented to the right things. Fame, fortune and power are fine things. But they are not the True North of the compass or an accurate Horizon. (Obviously, this is just an opinion, but it is my blog!)

If our reference points are off; if we think we are flying right-side-up, but instead, are all the time upside-down; 

we are destined for failure. 

So I'm going to again leave this post mid-thought; and with an invitation (as many of you know, I used to be a preacher... but I won't take an offering.) I invite you to take a good look at the horizon... Are you level to it? Take a look at your life's compass... is your life heading to true north? Because only when the wings are level and the course is set to what is true will any of us find REAL SUCCESS. 

For now...

D

Random Inspiration

Sometimes we are caught off guard. Last night I stumbled into the gym after a long day of work and a long evening of (my son's) basketball. I almost talked myself out of a work out. I'm glad I didn't. First, because I needed the physical exertion. Secondly, because I was caught off guard.

I posted the following on FaceBook last night.

I told them both they had inspired me as I shook their hands and said thank you. 

I was a little hesitant to post this, even though I asked and was given permission. However, in light of our discussion of SUCCESS I am compelled to post. What I saw in the gym was the polar opposite of SUCCESS VERTIGO. What I witnessed was true success; both in the struggle to push through difficult circumstances and in the complete and selfless serving of another. It was a reminder to me that...

#1  Success is a process, and is not found in reaching a finish line. 

What's more, true success is who I am in the process. 

#2  Success is about people... relationships, impact and meaning. 

It is not about stuff. 

Humbled.

For Now...

D

SUCCESS VERTIGO

After the Comparison Kills post last week a friend emailed me the following: So who are you and what defines your success? I called to tell him it was not cool to use my questions on me. What followed was a discussion about personal identity, perspective and the deep meaning of success (oh, and the necessity for me to eat my own cooking).

I think I'm pretty solid on the first part of the question. I have a realistic sense of who I am. It's the second part I wrestle with. And what initially sparked the Comparison Kills post was the idea that each of us has our personal definition of success - or at least an opaque idea of it. How far down the success path we see ourselves absolutely affects our self-perception (the who we are part).  We align ourselves, our attitudes and actions, accordingly to what we value and believe. This is how habits, good and bad, get embedded into our lives. Do something repeatedly and it eventually becomes a part of you. The sum of the parts... IS YOU.

I have an advantage in this blog. I freely admit I am a novice. A sojourner. I wish I could write from a been there, done that... now take my advice perspective. Sorry, that's not the case. I'm on the journey. (I'm guessing you can relate?) In part, I am searching for my definition of success. I almost have it in the cross-hairs, but the here to there part of the equation is silently screaming for more clarity. (I hope to write what will probably be a pretty personal post about it soon.)

Linked to this is my deep belief that our culture suffers from VALUES VERTIGO. It seems we are flying completely upside down at times; all the while calling up down and down up. Sorry, but also for an upcoming post I plan to call THE GRAVEYARD SPIRAL (any pilot reading this just shuddered!). I won't give away the ending now. But if you're wondering where I'm going with it, allow me to illustrate by simply saying two words about "Success" in 21st century American culture: Kim Kardashian. Nobel prize? Nope. Sports hero (whoa, trouble there too), but nope. Artist? Author? Activist? Business Leader? Role model? No. No. No. No. And please, God, NO! Why is she famous (which is a pop-culture substitute for successful)? For self-promotion and a big butt.

Ironically, this is what I wore to the party. 

Sorry for the rant. And I don't mean to be cutting. But truly, a pop-culture success mentality has seeped into every area of the mainstream, and into our thinking. The problem? It is antithetical to most of our deeply held values. The result is Values Vertigo. And this leads to a skewed view of true success. Case in point; we judge people by what they do (for work) rather than who they are. Remember my two friends at the party? (See post Comparison Kills). Obviously, my career path didn't rate in their success paradigm. They handed me the goofy over-sized sledge hammer: "What do you do? I took it and swung hard: "I'm a pastor." But the bell did not ring! I shouldn't be too hard on them; we all make judgments.

So back to the questions at hand:

So who are you and what defines your success?

I obviously have a lot of work to do to get to the heart of true success. But this is a blog, not a book. I'm going to leave it here for now. Do me a favor if you will. Close your eyes (unless you are driving and reading this on your phone - in which case you have a whole different set of potential problems). Ask yourself, Who am I (really) and what defines my success?

Close them again (because I know you didn't cheat the first time). Now envision success... you as a phenomenal success. What does it look like? What do you see? (I see faces... not things).

For now...
D

Thanks...

Thanks... for the next 500 breathes that I'll be blessed with before this post is finished (I'm stepping out on faith and assuming I'll breathe to the end).

Thanks... for children. My children are my blessing. But all children are incredible.

Thanks... for sunflower seeds, the staple of my diet.

Thanks... for friends; all friends, but especially the I've got your back no matter what kind.

Thanks... for the pain of a hurt heart. Only love can leave that brand of scar. And it reminds that there has truly been (and will be) love.

Thanks... for The United States of America. Troubled? Yes. But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Thanks... for the shoulder pain when I sleep on my right side. It reminds me of the way I could once throw and run and enjoy a kid's game.

Thanks... for my old Golden, Max. It has come down to just him and me in the house a lot more and a lot more quickly than I could have imagined. And he always thinks I'm the biggest deal.

Thanks... that at 50, I feel better (other than said shoulder) and fitter than I've been since my 20's.

Thanks... for the fact that if I listed everything for which I should give thanks, this blog post would expand to a novel. Whole chapters would be dedicated to names and faces, blessings and struggles; all conduits of hope, joy and growth.

Thanks... for the abiding sense that it's all going to work out in the end.

Thanks... for... EVERYTHING!

One might wonder why I wrote it this way; Thanks..., instead of, I'm thankful for... 
It's a good thing to be thankful. It's healthy and adds perspective. However, when I say thanks, it reminds me that my thankfulness is object-oriented. In other words, I'm not just thankful; I'm thankful to SOMEONE.

Thanks... for closing the gap of your goodness and my badness through the gift of your SON (Oh... and Happy Birthday in a month!)

Hey... still breathing! (Psalm 150:6)

For now...
D