(DIPS pt.2) The Power of STRATEGIC QUITTING, or, "I wish I could quit you..."

Question #1: What do I need to QUIT?

Question #2: Where do I need to STICK IT OUT?

I really like the movie Yes Man. (Thought I was going with Brokeback Mountain didn't you? NOPE!). In Yes Man Jim Carrey's character Carl has driven his life into a cul-de-sac. Carl's love life is in shambles, his career is going nowhere. Carl is at a crossroads, a standstill, a dead end; you pick the metaphor. The question is, can you in some ways relate? I can - more than I care to admit. Carl's life is a picture of everything that is completely opposite of what I am pushing toward with DstanFit50! Carl is in crisis.

Almost providentially, through a strange and comically awkward set of events Carl discovers the power of YES. Like most Jim Carrey movies, hilarity ensues and the story wraps with a nice warm feeling. But there is a message in the midst of the silliness. The underlying message of the movie, in my estimation, is that transformation is possible. We must however, be open to it. Even more, we should seek it.

Carl lived a small little life, full of fear and dead-ends. (A lot like Walter Mitty when I think about it! See my Pursuit post). But Carl is transformed. Carl thinks his new zest for life and the benefits he is experiencing are due to the karma that accompanies saying yes to absolutely everything that comes his way. But the truth is deeper and more subtle. This transformation comes through the power of opening up to possibilities. The magic is not in robotically saying yes to everything and everyone, and then abiding the ramifications - whether they be good, bad or just funny. The magic is in the ATTITUDE and ACTIONS that accompany an open spirit. A YES spirit... a YES attitude... YES actions.

So back to Question #1:

What do I need to QUIT?

We will come back to YES. But first let's consider NO. I could very well be going about this backward; and if so, sorry for the vertigo. But the fact is to say yes to the right things, we have to constantly say no to the wrong things.  I believe when we have a BIG YES in our lives it is easier to say NO to the things that don't propel us toward the realization and actualization of the BIG YES.  

In his book THE DIP Seth Godin has a term for this proactive practice of "no." He calls it Strategic Quitting. It is easy to say no to some things. To these we can passively say no with little effort. For example, saying no to heroin has always come very easily to me. As a matter of fact, I can't remember ever having to actively say no to heroin. However, saying no to prolonged periods of vegetative TV watching requires a more proactive approach. Saying no to a third viewing of The Big Bang Theory requires focus on that which is more important than Sheldon, Leonard or my laziness. Get the idea? Strategic Quitting isn't about saying NO to the bad - that's easy. Strategic Quitting requires saying NO to the marginally good, or even the good, in order to say YES to the best.

• Think about (list) three things that are easy to say no to. (Other than ending sentences - repeatedly - with prepositions!)
• Now think about three things that are not as easy to say no to... but that you normally say no to (or should).
• Now articulate (out loud, even) a BIG YES in your life. 
• Now stretch a little. Think about Three things that are good, but may be keeping you from best - from your BIG YES. Here is where it gets a little tough... are you willing to Strategically Quit? And if so, what's your strategy?

Once again to quote Zig Ziglar:

Motivation gets you going and habit gets you there.

So we must formulate a habit of Strategic Quitting. We must incessantly renew and reinforce our focus on the BIG YES and say no to all those things that don't move us in the direction of YES. Otherwise, we will find ourselves simply going with the flow with sub-par yeses. 

Sow a thought, reap an action

Sow an action, reap a habit

Sow a habit, reap a character

Sow a character, reap a destiny

Cul-de-sac Carl was transformed. Not by a motivational guru. And  not by saying yes to every silly thing. (It makes for a funny movie, but in reality would leave one broke and broken!) Carl was transformed because - if even on accident - he opened himself up to possibilities. He took risks. When we solidify our BIG YES and practice the art of Strategic Quitting we are empowered to dream and to risk - and to truly live. 

Enough for now. We'll tackle (or at least try to) Question #2 next time: 

Where do I need to stick it out?

For now...
D