A Stumbler's Walk | GOD CRIED

Jesus wept. - John 11:35

It is the shortest verse in Bible. To be fair, when the scriptures were written there were no verses, chapters, or even punctuation for the most part. (So John didn't write verse 35 to be a Bible Trivia answer.)

But it does bring up an interesting question: What would make Jesus cry?

Jesus' friend Lazarus has died. Mary and Martha are Lazarus' sisters. They are follower-friends of Jesus. And Mary and Martha are understandably distraught. They are broken-hearted.

Mary and Martha have faith. They have faith that Jesus can do about anything. He could have healed Lazarus… If only he'd been there sooner. Each sister says it to Jesus at a different time. "If only you had been here sooner." Some in the crowd even mumble… "He could have prevented this… if only he'd been here sooner."

In all the emotion, in all the mourning, what is it that brings tears to Jesus' eyes? He loved Lazarus. But Jesus is not crying about his death. Jesus knows what is about to happen: that with three words he will bring Lazarus back to this world after being four days buried.

It's not the crowd. Many in the crowd were semi-professional mourners. They went from funeral to funeral providing the appropriate sense of despair. I'm guessing some had different wails, sniffles and cries for different occasions.

I think there is something with Mary and Martha that causes Jesus' tears. Maybe the mixture of the sheer pain and hopelessness. I hate it when my children hurt. How much more does God feel the pain of our heartbreak and confusion? But I think it is more than that. Could it be that as deeply as Jesus felt the despair of these sisters, as much as their hopelessness bit into his heart, there was something more that moved him to tears?

"If only you had been here sooner…" I think there is something buried in that phrase. Is it possible that hidden within that statement is declaration of doubt about Jesus' love; and ultimately about the heart of God? It is almost as if they say to Jesus, "You could have prevented all this, if only you had cared enough to get here in time." Jesus loved them immensely. But for a moment, in a small way, they doubted that.

"Jesus wept."

Allow me to get personal - and a bit vulnerable. I have never doubted God's power - whether to speak creation, raise the dead, or change a human heart. I have never doubted his omniscience, his all-knowingness. I believe he is fully aware of everything I face and he is fully capable to work miracles in my situations. And it is not his goodness or his heart I doubt. I believe he is perfect in holiness. My periodic shadowy faith failure is (and my eyes well up in even writing this) that I sometimes question if and why he really cares for me. And then I say, "Jesus, if you'd only been here sooner."

And, I think… Jesus weeps.

Jesus, I know you care. Help me to know you care.

For now...

D