A Stumbler's Walk | BETWEEN SAYING AND DOING

Peter said to him, "Lord... I will lay down my life for you." Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times." - John 12:37-38

It is far easier to say we believe than it is to believe. And it is substantially more difficult to live those beliefs.

There is little trouble in making faith declarations on a Sunday morning, surrounded by like-minded people. The tough stuff comes on a Monday mid-morning in the office, a Wednesday afternoon in the classroom, a Saturday night… wherever you may find yourself.

Earlier, I chose the word substantially. I did so on purpose. Because faith - true faith - is substantive.

Both James and the writer of Hebrews make this point. Faith isn't a just a cognitive exercise. Nor is it limited to words. These are just the beginning. But left by themselves, they fall short of biblical faith.

Faith does. Faith acts. Faith is a living thing - because it is focused on a living Christ, and born out of a living relationship. And the evidence of faith is in the doing of faith.

Back to Peter: It's an emotional night in that little upper room. All the disciples know something is up. Jesus seems deep in thought - troubled in spirit. It started off weird with Jesus stripping down and washing each man's feet. Uncomfortable! And what's up with Judas? Is he just worried about the funds, or is it something more?

In the midst of all this, Jesus says he is leaving soon. Peter stands up and says, "Wait a minute, I'm coming too, I will gladly lay down my life for you."

Faith declaration... The doing? Well, you know what is to come. An arrest in a garden. A mob in full lynch mode. A denial. A crowing rooster. A glance from Jesus. And a broken heart.

Thank God Peter's story doesn’t end in that courtyard - cursing and denying. In a few chapters we'll see a restoration on a sandy shore. Then comes empowerment. Peter's story from there? Faith in action!

My guess, if you take the time to read any of these posts, is that you've made a faith declaration of some sort. And you, like I, struggle daily in the living out of that faith. Peter's story didn't end in that upper room, nor with his denial. And our story doesn't end here - between the declaring and the doing.

In 1988 Nike coined the slogan "Just do it." The roots however, are much older. "Nike" is actually an ancient Greek word; it means "victory." And the victory for us today is not in the declaration. Nor is it in the moving of mountains. Our victory is in the small steps of faith.

Just do it.

God, I declare my faith, even more importantly, today I will do my faith.

For now...
D

A Stumbler's Walk | SETTLED

So the chief priests made plans to put Lazarus to death as well… - John 12:10

Lazarus' response? "Been there, done that; have the t-shirt."

A man who has spent four days in the grave only to be raised back to this world by Jesus is a tough man to scare. My guess is that if Lazarus had been given the choice of staying in the grave or coming back out, he would have chosen the grave - because he had first-hand experience that it wasn't the end. 

As Paul put it, "I am hard pressed between the two (living or dying). My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better" (Philippians 1:23). Paul then (actually a couple verses earlier) makes this overarching declaration, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain" (v.21).

Settled. (As in, Settled! Period!)

Both Lazarus and Paul had something settled that made all the difference. They were not scared of death. And that completely freed them to live out their life purpose without fear. When we have the majors settled, the minors don't seem to have the same earth-shattering impact.

So the question is, what do you fear? And is it draining you; keeping you from boldly living your God-given purpose?

I had breakfast with a friend a while back and told him about a fear I have. I think it was the first time I've ever said it out loud, and definitely not to another human (other than my Golden Retriever Max). I know down deep that this particular fear has disabled me in the past; at least partially. Referring back to John 10 (and my post), I have in some ways become comfortable living with the discomfort of a soul-robber. And that is difficult place to live.

Fear and faith cannot cohabitate. Just as light and darkness cannot. Where light is, darkness retreats. Where faith is, fear shies away. And when the majors are settled, the minors become less the obstacles we thought they were.

"… let us also lay aside every weight... and let us run with endurance 

the race that is set before us… looking to Jesus…" (Hebrews 12:1,2)

God, you've already settled the majors in my life, give me the faith to give you the minors also. 

For now...
D

A Stumbler's Walk | GOD CRIED

Jesus wept. - John 11:35

It is the shortest verse in Bible. To be fair, when the scriptures were written there were no verses, chapters, or even punctuation for the most part. (So John didn't write verse 35 to be a Bible Trivia answer.)

But it does bring up an interesting question: What would make Jesus cry?

Jesus' friend Lazarus has died. Mary and Martha are Lazarus' sisters. They are follower-friends of Jesus. And Mary and Martha are understandably distraught. They are broken-hearted.

Mary and Martha have faith. They have faith that Jesus can do about anything. He could have healed Lazarus… If only he'd been there sooner. Each sister says it to Jesus at a different time. "If only you had been here sooner." Some in the crowd even mumble… "He could have prevented this… if only he'd been here sooner."

In all the emotion, in all the mourning, what is it that brings tears to Jesus' eyes? He loved Lazarus. But Jesus is not crying about his death. Jesus knows what is about to happen: that with three words he will bring Lazarus back to this world after being four days buried.

It's not the crowd. Many in the crowd were semi-professional mourners. They went from funeral to funeral providing the appropriate sense of despair. I'm guessing some had different wails, sniffles and cries for different occasions.

I think there is something with Mary and Martha that causes Jesus' tears. Maybe the mixture of the sheer pain and hopelessness. I hate it when my children hurt. How much more does God feel the pain of our heartbreak and confusion? But I think it is more than that. Could it be that as deeply as Jesus felt the despair of these sisters, as much as their hopelessness bit into his heart, there was something more that moved him to tears?

"If only you had been here sooner…" I think there is something buried in that phrase. Is it possible that hidden within that statement is declaration of doubt about Jesus' love; and ultimately about the heart of God? It is almost as if they say to Jesus, "You could have prevented all this, if only you had cared enough to get here in time." Jesus loved them immensely. But for a moment, in a small way, they doubted that.

"Jesus wept."

Allow me to get personal - and a bit vulnerable. I have never doubted God's power - whether to speak creation, raise the dead, or change a human heart. I have never doubted his omniscience, his all-knowingness. I believe he is fully aware of everything I face and he is fully capable to work miracles in my situations. And it is not his goodness or his heart I doubt. I believe he is perfect in holiness. My periodic shadowy faith failure is (and my eyes well up in even writing this) that I sometimes question if and why he really cares for me. And then I say, "Jesus, if you'd only been here sooner."

And, I think… Jesus weeps.

Jesus, I know you care. Help me to know you care.

For now...

D

A Stumbler's Walk | SHEPHERD

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd… 

- John 10:10-11 

We face soul-robbers daily. They steal joy, kill hope and destroy purpose. The goal of the thief is to leave us flat, hopeless and without direction; in a word, complacent.

Christian complacency is an ugly dead space. It is religion devoid of passion. It is rules devoid of life. 

It is not what the Good Shepherd intends for his own. Christian complacency is lifeless. The Good Shepherd laid down his life that we could live. 

Truly live!

The Good Shepherd… (Psalm 23:1-4)

- Provides: "…I shall not want…"
- Gives rest: "…makes me lie down in green pastures…"
- And peace - "…leads me beside still waters…"
- Fills: "…restores my soul…"
- Guides: "…leads me in paths of righteousness…"
- Protects: "…even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…"
- Is present: "…for you are with me…"
- Comforts: "…your rod and your staff, they comfort me…"

The Good Shepherd gives life and gives it abundantly! That is who He Is. That is who he wants to be for us today!

God, shepherd me.

For now...
D

A Stumbler's Walk | FREE

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. - John 8:32 

Free. 

It is a great word. A powerful concept. An incredible feeling. But only those who have been in bondage (of some sort) truly know the depth and meaning of the phrase, "I am free!"

Are you free?

Earlier in chapter eight, John gives the account of a woman who knew bondage; to sin, to the lustful appetites of men, and to a religion devoid of compassion or grace. 

Men with fire in their eyes and rocks in their hands were ready to take her life. (My guess is that some of these very men had shared her bed at one time or another. What Jesus wrote in the dirt is your guess as much as mine, but I'm thinking it was a list of names that caused the vigilantes to drop their weapons and slink away).

Jesus: "Woman, where they? Has no one condemned you?" 
Woman: "No one, Lord."

Think about it; if the criteria for rock throwing was (is) perfection - as Jesus said, "Let him who is without sin… be the first to throw a stone," - then the only one who met the criteria was Jesus. Jesus alone had the right and moral ground to condemn this woman. 

Jesus alone had the right to throw rocks. 
Jesus doesn't throw rocks. 

Jesus: "Neither do I condemn you…"

Freedom… from condemnation!

Jesus: "… go, and from now on sin no more."

Freedom… to live a new life!

Jesus didn't expect sinless perfection out of the woman from that day forward. He is saying, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed," (v.36). 

Those who have known the bitterness of bondage, and have then tasted freedom, never want to go back. And though we may fail, though we may fall back into our chains, whether it be occasionally or often, Christ's words of powerful grace still ring true: "You are free!"

Free from condemnation.
Free from fear.
Free from the voices that say you are less than.
Free from _________ (fill it in; you are free!)

Jesus, you are the truth that sets me free!

For now...

D

A Stumbler's Walk | OPEN EYES

Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?

- John 9:2 

At best it is a silly question. How could a man sin prior to being born? A vindictive kick or punch thrown while in the womb? But it's not merely a silly question. It is worse.

The man is blind. He has never experienced a color, seen a sunset or the face of his mother. And the disciples look for someone to blame. Why do I say it is worse than just a silly question? Because it is a reflection of the way they view God.

These guys have walked, talked, prayed and camped-out with Jesus. They have heard and seen things we can only imagine. Consider just the last few chapters: They have witnessed Jesus set free ("… truly free!") a woman condemned by her sin. They have just seen him become living water to a woman with a parched soul. They were right there when a guy who had never once walked in his 38 years got up and walked at Jesus' word. They basked daily in the glow of The Light of the World, yet their minds were still in a dark fog.

Bottom line: They didn't understand the heart of God.

Scholars call it Retribution Theology; and sadly, we all buy-in at some level. It holds, in short, that God repays us based on our actions. Rewards and punishments are doled out according to "how good" we are. That is damaging - and damning - enough, because it is ANTI-GRACE. To make matters worse, the practical result is that we attempt to jump through hoops to get God's attention and approval. "Look at me… I did so well." And when we fail - whether by tiring of the endless hoops, or just flat failing - an ill-tempered God is all too ready with immediate and direct punishment. The result? A relationship with God that is based on performance, failure and fear. (Not to mention the ugly cover-up of self-righteousness and comparison that results).

That is not the message of Christ. It is not the gospel of grace. It is not the heart of God.

I don't know why the guy was blind. What I do know is that after an application of spit-mud (who knows?) and a quick bath, the man could see! (And that's where the story really gets interesting). We seldom see in the gospel narrative the "after picture" (as in before/after) of the recipient of a Jesus' miracle. But Jesus tracks this formerly blind guy down. And the miracle is completed as the man's heart is changed every bit as much as his eyes.

God has a plan! We may not see it. Frankly, I don't think we could handle it if we were able to see more than a step or two down the path. God has a plan for you! And it is based on his grace and power, not on your performance. That is freeing!

I once heard that a great theologian closed his last lecture by answering a few questions. The final one came from a student who asked, "Dr. Barth, what is the greatest theological insight you've ever had?" The old man stepped toward the door, and reaching for the light switch he answered, "It is this, 'Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so…'" He turned out the lights and left the class in stunned silence… but not darkness.

God, where I am blind, open my eyes to the goodness of your heart.

For now...

D

A Stumbler's Walk | SACK LUNCHES

Jesus then took the loaves…

- John 6:11-13 

A massive crowd is hanging on Jesus' every word. And the disciples are growing concerned. It's been a long day, the people are hungry. This crowd could turn into a mob.

Peter: “There is a boy here who has five little barley loaves and two fish, but what are they for so many?”

Boy (Earlier that morning): Mom, I'm heading out… all my friends are going to see this guy from the other side of the sea."

Mom: "Don't forget your lunch."

Boy: "Ok, did you pack me enough for a few of my friends, in case their moms forgot?"

Mom: "Son, you know we don't have much. There's only enough in the sack for you and one friend, tops."

Jesus (Late in the day): "Give me the sack."

John 6:11-13: Jesus then took the loaves… distributed them. So also the fish, as much as they (5,000 men, plus women and children) wanted. And when they had eaten their fill… they gathered up twelve baskets (of leftovers).

Boy (Later that night): "Mom, I'm home. You won't believe what happened!"

Mom: "Did you have enough to eat?"

Boy: "Mom, You won't believe what happened!"

Never doubt that what God asks from us, with his blessing, is more than enough to accomplish what he desires. To put it another way, when we give what we have, God blesses it. And what he blesses always accomplishes his purposes. And we get to tell an incredible story!

God, I don't have much, but it is yours.

For now...
D