PERSPECTIVE...

Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? Me too. Allow me to build a case for why you should feel sorry for me right now. Then I'll put on my big-boy pants.

Thursday evening I drove straight to the gym in Dallas from a work site. I was flying out early the next morning and wanted to get in a workout before heading to the hotel. (This blog does have FIT in the title, afterall!). Following a good workout - and frankly, a long day - I walked out into the cold night air to my rental, with protein shake in hand. As I approached the rented Kia, I thought to myself, "what's all that brown stuff in the back seat?" My next thought... "huh, why am I looking directly into the back seat?" You guessed it, the brown stuff in the back seat was the tinted back window shattered into about 17,000 small pieces. Gone was my backpack filled with business and personal effects, along with my carry-on bag; all-told, thousands of dollars. It was a bad evening.

Fast forward to this morning. As I was drinking my coffee, contemplating some of the loose ends that need tying up from Thursday's theft, I received a call - the kind dads fear. My youngest daughter was stranded on the side of the road. The quick version, I now have the opportunity to purchase a new engine for her car. After a few calls to discover that local shops were slammed and closing soon, I determined that there was nothing I could do until Monday. (Obviously, I retrieved both she and the car).

Feeling sorry for me yet? I am embarrassed to admit... I was. My internal dialogue; "I am a victim of circumstances. No one should go through this crap!" If you are still with me at this point, please hang in just a little longer; I hope to make a point.

After the morning excitement I headed to the gym.. About one-third through a tough leg workout I was on the Hack-squat. The machine is close to a mirror and it was almost impossible not to watch myself as I strained and grimaced. That's when I noticed my shirt in the mirror.

BTW... I can't be held responsible for gym mirror cleanliness!

This post is about PERSPECTIVE. The mirror image you see here was interpreted by my brain as 26.2 TRIAL. As in one long-a#! trial; or a marathon trial. I thought, "You're telling me!"


Then it struck me. That's not what was written on my shirt. Though my "victim" brain interpreted it as TRIAL, the bold message of the shirt is 26.2 TRAIL. The shirt was presented to the finishers of the brutal (at least I thought so) Freestate Trail Marathon. 26.2 miles of trails, up and down hills, over rocks and roots. (I face-planted three times!) But as I mentioned in an earlier post, I FINISHED! I got the shirt.

So what my brain interpreted, due to my perspective and my "poor me" mentality, was actually the exact opposite of what was presented. The message of the shirt?

Dude, you're a marathoner... you are a finisher... you are an overcomer! 

I choose that message!

I'm not promoting a foolish choice to turn from facing reality. I'm simply saying that we must keep everything in perspective. (And I'm preaching to myself here!) All things considered; things are pretty damn good. Let's take inventory. 

• I lost all my stuff while traveling...
• I have a great job and have the opportunity to do some traveling around this country. 
• I have "stuff" to lose in first place. Ever been to Africa, the outskirts of Tijuana or a mission center in the US?
• I'm not at a point in my life where I find it necessary to break into rented Kias to steal people's stuff. 
• Everything was stolen while I was in the gym... 
• I am blessed to be physically whole. 
• I am able to make choices to pursue fitness as a lifestyle.
• I have not been called on to make the kind of ultimate sacrifice as have those whom we celebrated last week for Veteran's Day.  
•  My daughter's car...
• OK, this one just sucks! Kidding.
• Many families in the most affluent country in the world can't afford a vehicle. I have had the "opportunity" to purchase many (along with multiple insurances, tires, fill-ups, toll-tags, etc.); and there will be many more before I'm done. 
• The call that interrupted my morning was a frantic call from my daughter about a break-down. It was not the calm voice of an Oklahoma Highway Patrolman informing me of an accident. 

PERSPECTIVE. People often claim to be optimists, viewing the glass as half-full.   Not me. Nor am I the pessimistic glass half-empty type. In my view these miss the bigger picture. They miss the point and they address the wrong question. My view... the glass was made to hold more. How do we fill it to its fullest potential? 

That is the question that intrigues me... that haunts me... that drives me! (Maybe that's a subject for a future post.)


For now...
D

Dips (random thoughts) What's the opposite of a Butt-Fumble?

(This post was unplanned... so the ramblings that follow might be shown a little grace if you'd be so kind. Thanks!)

Earlier this evening I was writing a little on DIPS: Question #2 (Where should I stick it out?). My working title is RIDING THE STORMS OUT. But I'm going to break from that for the moment. I found myself in a bit of a strange place. Having spent the last week traveling, I wrapped up the weekend in Los Angeles with my younger daughter. We were there for my older daughter's regular season finale soccer game. She plays for the USC Trojans as they took on archival UCLA in front of over 10,000 fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. It was a great weekend.

Tonight, however, I find myself alone in a hotel room south of Ft. Worth. I'm embarrassed to admit, but I have been feeling a little melancholy. So I finally said enough is enough and headed down to the fitness room. Often, getting my butt in gear physically sparks the brain, emotions and spirit. At least, that's the way it works for me. This was the case tonight. While taking my life in my hands on a very shaky elliptical trainer I watched the Philadelphia Eagles and Jacksonville Jags on Monday Night Football. The Eagles are now quarterbacked by Mark Sanchez, who is having a great run over the last few weeks. If you are familiar, you know that's kind of a big deal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vuvz15OjCVc

The last I remember of Sanchez was the infamous Butt-Fumble. Do you remember the butt-fumble? It marked probably the darkest hour, the lowest low for Mark Sanchez. A refresher... Mark Sanchez's career began with incredible promise as he stormed into the pro's out of USC. He was at times a competent NFL quarterback, and at others next to awful to the point of being considered a bust. Finally, he suffered the ultimate humiliation when, during a broken play, he turned to run the ball. Trying to cut, his feet slipped out from under him and he promptly planted his facemask in the (very large) posterior of one of his offensive linemen. So running face first into an offensive guard's arse, Sanchez fell to his. To make matters infinitely worse, he fumbled the football, which was returned by a defender for a touchdown. Sanchez later said, "Just like a car accident. I was like, 'Whoa. What just happened?' It's embarrassing." Sanchez - the promising young quarterback - became the punchline, the butt of jokes (c'mon, it was too easy!).

So tonight, working up a sweat and starting to feel a little better about life and myself, it struck a chord when Sanchez threw a long touchdown pass and then threw his arms up in celebration. He has been through the dip. He has been in the dark place. And at least for now, is enjoying the rewards of having STUCK IT OUT! The look on his face was one of PURE JOY. Who knows where his career will end up. But for tonight, and for the last month, Mark Sanchez is the toast of Philadelphia and on top of the world. WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF BUTT-FUMBLE?

Fitting that Sanchez now plays for Philly (home of Rocky!!)

I realized a few moments ago that I'm in the same hotel and on the same floor I was when I wrote the post a couple hours before turning 50. That night I was in reflection mode, staring at what I determined to be the new start line. This evening has been one of reflection. A little sweat, a little prayer and a little perspective sure helped. I'll never meet Mark Sanchez. But I'm thankful to him. He stuck it out. A Butt-Fumble is a hard thing to recover from. He's doing it. So can I... so can you.

For now...
D

(DIPS pt.2) The Power of STRATEGIC QUITTING, or, "I wish I could quit you..."

Question #1: What do I need to QUIT?

Question #2: Where do I need to STICK IT OUT?

I really like the movie Yes Man. (Thought I was going with Brokeback Mountain didn't you? NOPE!). In Yes Man Jim Carrey's character Carl has driven his life into a cul-de-sac. Carl's love life is in shambles, his career is going nowhere. Carl is at a crossroads, a standstill, a dead end; you pick the metaphor. The question is, can you in some ways relate? I can - more than I care to admit. Carl's life is a picture of everything that is completely opposite of what I am pushing toward with DstanFit50! Carl is in crisis.

Almost providentially, through a strange and comically awkward set of events Carl discovers the power of YES. Like most Jim Carrey movies, hilarity ensues and the story wraps with a nice warm feeling. But there is a message in the midst of the silliness. The underlying message of the movie, in my estimation, is that transformation is possible. We must however, be open to it. Even more, we should seek it.

Carl lived a small little life, full of fear and dead-ends. (A lot like Walter Mitty when I think about it! See my Pursuit post). But Carl is transformed. Carl thinks his new zest for life and the benefits he is experiencing are due to the karma that accompanies saying yes to absolutely everything that comes his way. But the truth is deeper and more subtle. This transformation comes through the power of opening up to possibilities. The magic is not in robotically saying yes to everything and everyone, and then abiding the ramifications - whether they be good, bad or just funny. The magic is in the ATTITUDE and ACTIONS that accompany an open spirit. A YES spirit... a YES attitude... YES actions.

So back to Question #1:

What do I need to QUIT?

We will come back to YES. But first let's consider NO. I could very well be going about this backward; and if so, sorry for the vertigo. But the fact is to say yes to the right things, we have to constantly say no to the wrong things.  I believe when we have a BIG YES in our lives it is easier to say NO to the things that don't propel us toward the realization and actualization of the BIG YES.  

In his book THE DIP Seth Godin has a term for this proactive practice of "no." He calls it Strategic Quitting. It is easy to say no to some things. To these we can passively say no with little effort. For example, saying no to heroin has always come very easily to me. As a matter of fact, I can't remember ever having to actively say no to heroin. However, saying no to prolonged periods of vegetative TV watching requires a more proactive approach. Saying no to a third viewing of The Big Bang Theory requires focus on that which is more important than Sheldon, Leonard or my laziness. Get the idea? Strategic Quitting isn't about saying NO to the bad - that's easy. Strategic Quitting requires saying NO to the marginally good, or even the good, in order to say YES to the best.

• Think about (list) three things that are easy to say no to. (Other than ending sentences - repeatedly - with prepositions!)
• Now think about three things that are not as easy to say no to... but that you normally say no to (or should).
• Now articulate (out loud, even) a BIG YES in your life. 
• Now stretch a little. Think about Three things that are good, but may be keeping you from best - from your BIG YES. Here is where it gets a little tough... are you willing to Strategically Quit? And if so, what's your strategy?

Once again to quote Zig Ziglar:

Motivation gets you going and habit gets you there.

So we must formulate a habit of Strategic Quitting. We must incessantly renew and reinforce our focus on the BIG YES and say no to all those things that don't move us in the direction of YES. Otherwise, we will find ourselves simply going with the flow with sub-par yeses. 

Sow a thought, reap an action

Sow an action, reap a habit

Sow a habit, reap a character

Sow a character, reap a destiny

Cul-de-sac Carl was transformed. Not by a motivational guru. And  not by saying yes to every silly thing. (It makes for a funny movie, but in reality would leave one broke and broken!) Carl was transformed because - if even on accident - he opened himself up to possibilities. He took risks. When we solidify our BIG YES and practice the art of Strategic Quitting we are empowered to dream and to risk - and to truly live. 

Enough for now. We'll tackle (or at least try to) Question #2 next time: 

Where do I need to stick it out?

For now...
D

DEVIL'S DIP

When I was around seven years old I ran over a rattle snake with my bicycle. What makes the event slightly more unique is that I was riding my green metal-flake schwinn stingray in our suburban garage. It was raining brutally outside, but the babysitter didn't want my sister or me in the house. So to the garage we went, where in a short time schwinn met rattlesnake. I should mention that this story has been independently verified and is not the product of a shaky memory reminiscing across several decades. Also, the snake's head, having been made independent of it's body - the baby sitter's doing - provided all the necessary evidence to our parents later on.

We speculated that the rattlesnake came from Onion dip. Onion Dip was the unofficial name of a huge field south of our subdivision where cyclists - of the motor and bi varieties - would ride the trails. It has long since become a mall, then an outlet mall, and finally morphed into something else, probably a flea market. In the center of Onion Dip was the fabled Devil's Dip. In my recollection Devil's Dip was a chasm the size of the Snake River Canyon. In reality it was probably a fairly large... well... um... dip.  Devil's Dip was mythical to the seven year old crowd. It was where legends were forged and dreams were shattered. As in, "Did you hear that Stevie's older brother made it through Devil's Dip on his bike? And lived!" Or, "You know how Mikey broke his leg don't you? Devil's Dip." (Followed by down-cast eyes and hushed silence with knowing nods).

The point is I grew up with a healthy fear of and respect for dips. To this day, when I see a road sign warning of a dip ahead I shudder just a little. To my mind dips are bad things. (Though a nice lump crab dip will momentarily change my perspective every time.) Further changing my thought on dips stands a book written by marketing guru Seth Godin. According to Godin in his coincidentally entitled book, The Dip, the dip (forgive the redundancy) is something to be embraced. The dip is a natural and necessary thing.

So what is the dip? The dip is that no-man's land that lies between initial results (or reward) and long-term success. And it is here, in this seeming chasm, that the future is determined. How we act and respond in the dip makes all the difference in the end.

Godin's book carries the subtitle, A Little Book that Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick). 

When to quit... and when to stick... That strikes me deeply. The concept creates two questions that are equally disturbing. I both hear and feel them ringing within like a tuning fork that has been struck and continues to resonate. The first, What do I need to quit? And the second, Where do I need to stick it out? At face value, these questions sound simplistic. But let them soak in just a bit. In fact, I'm going to do just that. In the next post I'll jump right back in with these all-important questions that must be addressed in the DIP. But for now I'm going to sign off mid-thought. I am asking myself these revealing questions. And I challenge you do the same.

(In my relationships... in my career... in my fitness/wellness lifestyle... 

in my spiritual life... etc.)

• What do I need to quit?

• In What area(s) do I need to stick it out - where I'm about to quit?

Sorry to leave you hanging. (Well, not really!)

For now...
D

ONE DAY (addendum)

I don't know how much these things are staged... but here's a little inspiration to SEIZE YOUR ONE DAY!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1T9-I3wx8I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0htsmx2a4c

The "Rest of the Story" is that this guy has his demons too. We all do. But purely for the Carpe Diem aspect, it's worth your 14 minutes.

For now...
D

PURSUIT

The Veledrome... 

No, it's not something out of a Mad Max movie (cue Tina Turner speaking with a weird pseudo-English accent). We see the Veledrome at least once every four years during the Summer Olympic games. The veledrome is home to the Track Cycling events. My favorite is PURSUIT. There are two events within pursuit cycling; Team Pursuit and Individual Pursuit. (Though there are great analogies to build from Team Pursuit, I'm going with Individual Pursuit for this post). In Individual Pursuit, two riders begin directly opposite one another on the track. They race both against the clock and each other over four kilometers. If one rider overtakes the other... game over, he or she is the winner.

I like the Individual Pursuit. A rider sees the other rider (the goal), sees the track (the action plan), puts his head down and pedals hard. I also like the word PURSUIT. The word itself is active and has movement. Say it, pursuit - do you feel it?

Pursuit is what happens between aiming and the target (see my last post, BULLESYES). Pursuit is your plan in action. Pursuit is what happens between your dreaming and the realizing of your dream. And here's the kicker;

The way we pursue creates our current reality. 

When we realize one dream, or goal, we set another... and pursue. Therefore, our lives are about constant pursuit.

How we pursue says as much about us as what we pursue - or the dreams we dream. 

(If I were preaching instead of writing, I'd say that again; slowly and with dramatic emphasis).

I've shared this infographic in a couple previous posts. It illustrates an important point: My Action Plan (STRATEGY) and how I go about my action plan (PURSUIT) stand between my dreams and realizing my dreams. My strategy and my pursuit will either hinder reaching my goals or propel me toward them. Either way, these are the components that CREATE MY CURRENT REALITY!

My son and I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty again a couple days ago. It's a great picture of pursuit. The movie begins with Walter daydreaming about things he'd like to do and adventures he'd like to take. These daydreams include a love interest he secretly would like to make a reality. All the while, Walter isn't doing much. It turns out, however, that Walter has a deep and abiding vision. And his first steps of pursuit lead to deeper and more meaningful pursuit. Ultimately, Walter finds himself living a current reality that far exceeds even his wildest daydreams. (Let alone, creating for himself a world class eHarmony profile). And, although the movie wraps up with a happily-ever-after feel, it is not the end - the destination - that captures me. It is Walter's becoming that captures me; it is the man he discovers himself to be in the midst of PURSUIT!

Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just a soon as you can change your beliefs.

- Maxwell Maltz

For now...

D

THE BULLSEYES WE CREATE

Ready... Aim... Fire...  

Ready... Fire... Aim... 

Ready... Aim... Aim... Aim... 

Which is worse... To shoot at a target that is not completely defined? To shoot at a definite target to which we are not properly aimed? Or to take eternal aim without every loosing the arrow? I guess it depends. If we are being literal, we should never pull the trigger, loose the arrow, throw the dart, etc., if we are not completely sure of and aimed toward the target (unless you are Dick Chaney - I had to). But we are being metaphorical. So although the best case is, ready... aim... fire; I submit the worst is, ready... aim... aim... aim. 

As a public speaker most of my adult life, I know that every analogy breaks down at points. This analogy of a target will too I'm sure. But for clarity, let's say that...

• Vision is painting and setting the target.

• Aiming is orienting yourself (correctly) to the target.

• Strategy is the action plan for covering the distance from you to the target. 

I am a good aimer. One of the best. I know it's true and it cannot be disputed. Know why? Because there is no proof in aiming. There is no result. Aim all day. Win awards and accolades for aiming. Know what you have? Nothing! Aiming is important; but aim is truly only valuable if it precedes action.

When I began my Fit50! quest, it was not completely defined. Actually, only the outer ring of the target was penciled in... and I fired! The inner rings and paint remained - in many ways, still remain - to be applied. What I am discovering is that often action brings definition to the target. The penciled in portion of the target for me was fitness. I determined that I was going to be fitter in my 50th year than previously in my life. Without clear definition in the beginning, and without great aim, I'm on target! The target and strategies have become more clear in the midst of taking action.

As I have alluded in previous posts, other target rings are being painted and I've determined not to be paralyzed by perpetually aiming. The goal of this post is to challenge and encourage you to the same. At the risk of mixing a previous analogy, we must decide to become moving ships. Remember, the rudder can't steer when the ship is still in the water, unmoving, stagnant. To again quote Teddy Roosevelt: "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

Pull the trigger... let it fly... loose the arrow...!

For now...
D