(DIPS pt.2) The Power of STRATEGIC QUITTING, or, "I wish I could quit you..."

Question #1: What do I need to QUIT?

Question #2: Where do I need to STICK IT OUT?

I really like the movie Yes Man. (Thought I was going with Brokeback Mountain didn't you? NOPE!). In Yes Man Jim Carrey's character Carl has driven his life into a cul-de-sac. Carl's love life is in shambles, his career is going nowhere. Carl is at a crossroads, a standstill, a dead end; you pick the metaphor. The question is, can you in some ways relate? I can - more than I care to admit. Carl's life is a picture of everything that is completely opposite of what I am pushing toward with DstanFit50! Carl is in crisis.

Almost providentially, through a strange and comically awkward set of events Carl discovers the power of YES. Like most Jim Carrey movies, hilarity ensues and the story wraps with a nice warm feeling. But there is a message in the midst of the silliness. The underlying message of the movie, in my estimation, is that transformation is possible. We must however, be open to it. Even more, we should seek it.

Carl lived a small little life, full of fear and dead-ends. (A lot like Walter Mitty when I think about it! See my Pursuit post). But Carl is transformed. Carl thinks his new zest for life and the benefits he is experiencing are due to the karma that accompanies saying yes to absolutely everything that comes his way. But the truth is deeper and more subtle. This transformation comes through the power of opening up to possibilities. The magic is not in robotically saying yes to everything and everyone, and then abiding the ramifications - whether they be good, bad or just funny. The magic is in the ATTITUDE and ACTIONS that accompany an open spirit. A YES spirit... a YES attitude... YES actions.

So back to Question #1:

What do I need to QUIT?

We will come back to YES. But first let's consider NO. I could very well be going about this backward; and if so, sorry for the vertigo. But the fact is to say yes to the right things, we have to constantly say no to the wrong things.  I believe when we have a BIG YES in our lives it is easier to say NO to the things that don't propel us toward the realization and actualization of the BIG YES.  

In his book THE DIP Seth Godin has a term for this proactive practice of "no." He calls it Strategic Quitting. It is easy to say no to some things. To these we can passively say no with little effort. For example, saying no to heroin has always come very easily to me. As a matter of fact, I can't remember ever having to actively say no to heroin. However, saying no to prolonged periods of vegetative TV watching requires a more proactive approach. Saying no to a third viewing of The Big Bang Theory requires focus on that which is more important than Sheldon, Leonard or my laziness. Get the idea? Strategic Quitting isn't about saying NO to the bad - that's easy. Strategic Quitting requires saying NO to the marginally good, or even the good, in order to say YES to the best.

• Think about (list) three things that are easy to say no to. (Other than ending sentences - repeatedly - with prepositions!)
• Now think about three things that are not as easy to say no to... but that you normally say no to (or should).
• Now articulate (out loud, even) a BIG YES in your life. 
• Now stretch a little. Think about Three things that are good, but may be keeping you from best - from your BIG YES. Here is where it gets a little tough... are you willing to Strategically Quit? And if so, what's your strategy?

Once again to quote Zig Ziglar:

Motivation gets you going and habit gets you there.

So we must formulate a habit of Strategic Quitting. We must incessantly renew and reinforce our focus on the BIG YES and say no to all those things that don't move us in the direction of YES. Otherwise, we will find ourselves simply going with the flow with sub-par yeses. 

Sow a thought, reap an action

Sow an action, reap a habit

Sow a habit, reap a character

Sow a character, reap a destiny

Cul-de-sac Carl was transformed. Not by a motivational guru. And  not by saying yes to every silly thing. (It makes for a funny movie, but in reality would leave one broke and broken!) Carl was transformed because - if even on accident - he opened himself up to possibilities. He took risks. When we solidify our BIG YES and practice the art of Strategic Quitting we are empowered to dream and to risk - and to truly live. 

Enough for now. We'll tackle (or at least try to) Question #2 next time: 

Where do I need to stick it out?

For now...
D

DEVIL'S DIP

When I was around seven years old I ran over a rattle snake with my bicycle. What makes the event slightly more unique is that I was riding my green metal-flake schwinn stingray in our suburban garage. It was raining brutally outside, but the babysitter didn't want my sister or me in the house. So to the garage we went, where in a short time schwinn met rattlesnake. I should mention that this story has been independently verified and is not the product of a shaky memory reminiscing across several decades. Also, the snake's head, having been made independent of it's body - the baby sitter's doing - provided all the necessary evidence to our parents later on.

We speculated that the rattlesnake came from Onion dip. Onion Dip was the unofficial name of a huge field south of our subdivision where cyclists - of the motor and bi varieties - would ride the trails. It has long since become a mall, then an outlet mall, and finally morphed into something else, probably a flea market. In the center of Onion Dip was the fabled Devil's Dip. In my recollection Devil's Dip was a chasm the size of the Snake River Canyon. In reality it was probably a fairly large... well... um... dip.  Devil's Dip was mythical to the seven year old crowd. It was where legends were forged and dreams were shattered. As in, "Did you hear that Stevie's older brother made it through Devil's Dip on his bike? And lived!" Or, "You know how Mikey broke his leg don't you? Devil's Dip." (Followed by down-cast eyes and hushed silence with knowing nods).

The point is I grew up with a healthy fear of and respect for dips. To this day, when I see a road sign warning of a dip ahead I shudder just a little. To my mind dips are bad things. (Though a nice lump crab dip will momentarily change my perspective every time.) Further changing my thought on dips stands a book written by marketing guru Seth Godin. According to Godin in his coincidentally entitled book, The Dip, the dip (forgive the redundancy) is something to be embraced. The dip is a natural and necessary thing.

So what is the dip? The dip is that no-man's land that lies between initial results (or reward) and long-term success. And it is here, in this seeming chasm, that the future is determined. How we act and respond in the dip makes all the difference in the end.

Godin's book carries the subtitle, A Little Book that Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick). 

When to quit... and when to stick... That strikes me deeply. The concept creates two questions that are equally disturbing. I both hear and feel them ringing within like a tuning fork that has been struck and continues to resonate. The first, What do I need to quit? And the second, Where do I need to stick it out? At face value, these questions sound simplistic. But let them soak in just a bit. In fact, I'm going to do just that. In the next post I'll jump right back in with these all-important questions that must be addressed in the DIP. But for now I'm going to sign off mid-thought. I am asking myself these revealing questions. And I challenge you do the same.

(In my relationships... in my career... in my fitness/wellness lifestyle... 

in my spiritual life... etc.)

• What do I need to quit?

• In What area(s) do I need to stick it out - where I'm about to quit?

Sorry to leave you hanging. (Well, not really!)

For now...
D

ONE DAY (addendum)

I don't know how much these things are staged... but here's a little inspiration to SEIZE YOUR ONE DAY!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1T9-I3wx8I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0htsmx2a4c

The "Rest of the Story" is that this guy has his demons too. We all do. But purely for the Carpe Diem aspect, it's worth your 14 minutes.

For now...
D

PURSUIT

The Veledrome... 

No, it's not something out of a Mad Max movie (cue Tina Turner speaking with a weird pseudo-English accent). We see the Veledrome at least once every four years during the Summer Olympic games. The veledrome is home to the Track Cycling events. My favorite is PURSUIT. There are two events within pursuit cycling; Team Pursuit and Individual Pursuit. (Though there are great analogies to build from Team Pursuit, I'm going with Individual Pursuit for this post). In Individual Pursuit, two riders begin directly opposite one another on the track. They race both against the clock and each other over four kilometers. If one rider overtakes the other... game over, he or she is the winner.

I like the Individual Pursuit. A rider sees the other rider (the goal), sees the track (the action plan), puts his head down and pedals hard. I also like the word PURSUIT. The word itself is active and has movement. Say it, pursuit - do you feel it?

Pursuit is what happens between aiming and the target (see my last post, BULLESYES). Pursuit is your plan in action. Pursuit is what happens between your dreaming and the realizing of your dream. And here's the kicker;

The way we pursue creates our current reality. 

When we realize one dream, or goal, we set another... and pursue. Therefore, our lives are about constant pursuit.

How we pursue says as much about us as what we pursue - or the dreams we dream. 

(If I were preaching instead of writing, I'd say that again; slowly and with dramatic emphasis).

I've shared this infographic in a couple previous posts. It illustrates an important point: My Action Plan (STRATEGY) and how I go about my action plan (PURSUIT) stand between my dreams and realizing my dreams. My strategy and my pursuit will either hinder reaching my goals or propel me toward them. Either way, these are the components that CREATE MY CURRENT REALITY!

My son and I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty again a couple days ago. It's a great picture of pursuit. The movie begins with Walter daydreaming about things he'd like to do and adventures he'd like to take. These daydreams include a love interest he secretly would like to make a reality. All the while, Walter isn't doing much. It turns out, however, that Walter has a deep and abiding vision. And his first steps of pursuit lead to deeper and more meaningful pursuit. Ultimately, Walter finds himself living a current reality that far exceeds even his wildest daydreams. (Let alone, creating for himself a world class eHarmony profile). And, although the movie wraps up with a happily-ever-after feel, it is not the end - the destination - that captures me. It is Walter's becoming that captures me; it is the man he discovers himself to be in the midst of PURSUIT!

Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just a soon as you can change your beliefs.

- Maxwell Maltz

For now...

D

THE BULLSEYES WE CREATE

Ready... Aim... Fire...  

Ready... Fire... Aim... 

Ready... Aim... Aim... Aim... 

Which is worse... To shoot at a target that is not completely defined? To shoot at a definite target to which we are not properly aimed? Or to take eternal aim without every loosing the arrow? I guess it depends. If we are being literal, we should never pull the trigger, loose the arrow, throw the dart, etc., if we are not completely sure of and aimed toward the target (unless you are Dick Chaney - I had to). But we are being metaphorical. So although the best case is, ready... aim... fire; I submit the worst is, ready... aim... aim... aim. 

As a public speaker most of my adult life, I know that every analogy breaks down at points. This analogy of a target will too I'm sure. But for clarity, let's say that...

• Vision is painting and setting the target.

• Aiming is orienting yourself (correctly) to the target.

• Strategy is the action plan for covering the distance from you to the target. 

I am a good aimer. One of the best. I know it's true and it cannot be disputed. Know why? Because there is no proof in aiming. There is no result. Aim all day. Win awards and accolades for aiming. Know what you have? Nothing! Aiming is important; but aim is truly only valuable if it precedes action.

When I began my Fit50! quest, it was not completely defined. Actually, only the outer ring of the target was penciled in... and I fired! The inner rings and paint remained - in many ways, still remain - to be applied. What I am discovering is that often action brings definition to the target. The penciled in portion of the target for me was fitness. I determined that I was going to be fitter in my 50th year than previously in my life. Without clear definition in the beginning, and without great aim, I'm on target! The target and strategies have become more clear in the midst of taking action.

As I have alluded in previous posts, other target rings are being painted and I've determined not to be paralyzed by perpetually aiming. The goal of this post is to challenge and encourage you to the same. At the risk of mixing a previous analogy, we must decide to become moving ships. Remember, the rudder can't steer when the ship is still in the water, unmoving, stagnant. To again quote Teddy Roosevelt: "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

Pull the trigger... let it fly... loose the arrow...!

For now...
D

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'...

When I was 42 I got into the best shape of my life... outwardly. The problem was how I got there. At the time ephedra was legal and sold in every gym and supplement shop. Ripped Fuel, Yellow Devils, Green Stinger... the names alone should have given me a clue the stuff was unhealthy. (Side note: Quick fixes are very seldom fixes at all; and yes, that nugget was free). I got lean, leaner than I had been when playing football half a life time before. I remember one particular day in the gym, however. I was working legs hard. I finished a set of squats and when I stepped away from the bar I realized I could hear my heart. (That can't be good). I'm pretty sure I could see it beating through my shirt; and it wasn't thump, thump. It was more like a Dave Grohl drum solo. My head was light and the butterflies in my stomach felt like drunken hummingbirds. I had reached my goal. But I cheated to get there. And I felt like my heart, and or brain, was going to explode.

I'd like to say I learned a life-lesson. Instead, It actually has taken many more years to crystallize. In a nutshell:

Winning in life is not about a destination, it is about a JOURNEY. 

(Now do you get the title of this post? Just try to get that song out of your head...).

I've been reading quite a bit about motivation. Recently I read the transcript of a Ted Talk that Daniel Pink delivered. Pink said: "Winning is not about how a journey ends... (it is) the very act of dreaming and then pursuing it with passion and dignity. We win when we pursue the goal with optimism, preparation, discipline and respect. Real winning is when we push ourselves beyond what we know we can do toward what we truly want to achieve."

So here's my take away; winning is not about the destination, it is about the journey. (I realize I just wrote that above, but as an ex-preacher my training says that I'm supposed say it three times and add a poem to get the point across). Winning is not about crossing the finish line first; it is about how we run the race. As a dreamer, I must also take note that winning is not in dreaming (only). Winning is the result of DREAMING & PURSUING!

So the natural questions become: What am I dreaming? And, how am I pursuing? 

I'm going to pick up the idea of the pursuit in the next post. 

Speaking of motivation, these were a couple of my Facebook posts from a couple weeks ago.

In the immortal words of Steve Perry (If you don't know who he is... really? C'mon!): Don't stop believin'... hold on to your feeeeellliiiinnnggggsss...

In the (even better) words of the Apostle Paul:

... run to win!

For now...

D

Surfboards are for surfing

I've never surfed. I've body-surfed and boogie-boarded. But never the real thing. I think I'd like it...

I had the opportunity to spend last weekend in LA with my oldest daughter. On Sunday, I rolled out early to hit the gym. It was leg day, so I thought where better than to go to the original Gold's Gym in Venice, CA. This fabled gym is where body building began. Through its doors have walked, and on it's floors have sweat, the likes of Arnold, Lou, Franco, Dorian and Tom.  (If you don't know them by first names... then you've probably never picked up a Muscle and Fitness magazine. Try this, the first two are "The Terminator," and "The Hulk" and the last, "Quadzilla").

Trying to decide which of the poses behind me would work
best... finally decided on, "duh!"

After working my legs into noodles in Gold's, I walked down to Venice Beach. I've always had a rule that when near an ocean, I have to, at some point, get my feet wet. I worked my way past the sheer craziness along Venice Beach sidewalk, finally reaching the hot sand. (If you've been to Venice on a weekend you'll know that when I say "craziness," I've not come close to describing the scene). I popped off my shoes and socks and made a beeline for the water.  A regatta of big sailboats was maneuvering off shore. Para-sailors were para-sailing, children were playing in the surf, and sun-bathers were... well, doing nothing at all (I've never quite caught on).

Yep - that's a beach selfie. I have no excuse. 

Eventually, what caught my attention were the surfers. Dozens of them, clad in wet-suits, sat out on their boards bobbing up and down. The waves were fairly large, crashing hard into the beach. Beach-goers with ankle-deep commitment were constantly forced to high-tail it toward the dry sand. And there about 50 to 100 yards out sat the surfers. Do you read anything wrong in that sentence? There they sat. Wetsuit? Check. Surfboard? Check. Perfect California day? Check. Decent breakers rolling in (at least from this Okie's viewpoint)? Check. Surfing? Nope... just sitting... bobbing. I assume they were looking for the perfect wave.

I wanted to see some surfing; I mean the real Bonsai Pipeline barrel riding. (OK - I know I was in the wrong spot for that, but still...). What I saw was bobbing. Bobbing with an occasional uncommitted no-energy paddle toward a wave. Then I saw - you guessed it - an incredible metaphor for life. And very frankly, I saw a metaphor for large parts of my life. All the bobbers out on the ocean Sunday were completely outfitted to surf. Yet they bobbed. It's easier to bob. It takes no effort or commitment to bob. And you can't fail when you bob. But - and here's a big but - there is no thrill in bobbing. There's no rush in bobbing. There is no accomplishment or victory in bobbing. Sure, if you expend the energy to paddle in you might miss the wave. You might have to turn around and paddle back to where you were before. You might paddle in, get up on your board only to have a bad wipeout, get rolled up by the waves, lose your shorts and get a mouthful of Venice Beach salt (and whatever else??) water. BUT - and here's an even bigger but - you might ride a wave. You might feel the rush and exhilaration of truly surfing!

On the plane home I began to assess a couple areas where I am bobbing. As I have written before, I am a work in progress - as are you. I wish I were further along so I could write my been-there-done-that story of inspiration. But in many areas of my life at Fit50! I'm just beginning to surf! My challenge to US - stop bobbing and paddle in! Pick an area of life... fitness/health, job, relationship, spiritual, family, education, whatever. STOP BOBBING AND PADDLE IN... 

SURF'S UP (dude)!!!

For now...
D