A Stumbler's Walk | ENOUGH?

 "Lord if you will..." (Man with Leprosy)

 "I will..." (Jesus)

-- Matthew 8:2-3

As a stumbler I sometimes doubt my position with God. How's that for blunt? I ask questions. Am I good enough? Am I doing enough? Am I enough? If you cannot relate, God bless you..., adjust your halo and come back for my next post.

The answer to these questions is... NO. No, I am not. (And neither are you.) And though a difficult admission, it is a freeing one. Though humbling and humiliating, it is good news. But we'll come back to that. 

Now to a deeper Stumbler's struggle. And this one is a bit darker and difficult to admit. I have never questioned the power of God. I have never questioned the wisdom or knowledge of God. He is and has always been in my mind all the Omnis the theologians proclaim - Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent. I have never even struggled with the goodness of God. My struggle is with his goodness toward me. And at it's core, am I enough that God would intimately care for - and be involved with - me.

Jesus has just "come down from the mountain;" the Sermon on the Mount mountain. He has moved and challenged the crowds. He has spoken words of truth and life that have ignited hearts and shamed hypocrites. Jesus comes down from the the mountain... and comes face to twisted decaying face with a leper.

There is SO much culturally and religiously wrong with the picture that I cannot take the space to describe. Short version: The leper should not have been there. The leper should not have so audaciously thought he had the right to appear before the Teacher (or any other non-leprous person for that matter). He was an outcast... a dreg... a left-behind. A leper was not good enough, could not be enough - was the opposite of enough -  to come to Jesus.

But here he is; blocking the path. The crowds that follow Jesus (down from the mountain) shrink away in disgust. Religion tends to do that. The man with half a face and no fingers says, "If you will, you can make me clean."

Only a few in the crowd (that came down from the mountain) believe Jesus CAN do it. None believe he WILL do it.

Then... Jesus reached out and touched him. Touched him. The man hadn't been looked in the eyes, addressed as human, or especially touched by another person in years. Jesus touched him. "I will; be (you are) clean." And the man was.

"I will..." Those were the words of Jesus then. They are the words of Jesus now. "I will..." They are the words of Jesus to me and to you; "I will..."

A leper was enough, because God saw his value, loved him, and said, "You are enough for my attention and touch."

You are enough because God sees your value, loves you, and says, "You are enough for my attention and touch." And so am I.

Thank God, our confidence is in God; and not in us. He is good. Always. And his love makes us enough.

God... If you are willing... Wait, I hear a whisper... "I am willing..."

For now,
D

A Stumbler's Walk | ON THE ROCK

(This is one of my Back-to-its. As I round the corner to finish up writing a thought on each chapter of the New Testament, I realize what a stumbler's walk it has been. If the name fits wear it...)

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 

-- Jesus; Matthew 7:24

We all choose to build our house (life) on something. If we don't choose, by default the choice is made for us. And really, that is worse than choosing poorly. 

When I was in Jr. High we built a shed. It came as a kit from Sears; just a simple metal shed. Our next door neighbor must have seen the same sale ad in the paper. The following Saturday two sheds began to go up, very close to one another on opposite sides of the fence. Ours went up much more slowly because it began with a cement mixer, a pile of gravel, one of sand, 80# bags of cement, a wheelbarrow and shovel, and child labor. 

The next door neighbor's Taj Mahal was complete by the time our foundation forms came off. It was a little embarrassing to me. My dad knew what he was doing. 

The side-by-side sister sheds were completely identical to the eye a year after completion. Grass grew up around the bottoms to hide the secrets of each and it was in the days before string trimmers. 

Spring is tornado season in central Oklahoma. On a particular spring day several tornadoes surrounded. It was not a tornado however, but an 85 mile per hour straight wind that revealed truth, and made a lasting impression on me. My family stood watching the storm through the South-facing big bay window. The sky was a mixture of reds and greens and whites - colors that shouldn't be in a sky. (Oh - a note: That's what we Okies do when storms hit; we watch them. In retrospect, a basement might have been a good idea.) 

I vividly recall turning my attention to two side-by-side, seemingly identical sheds - one with a hidden secret. The wind beat against them as the hail pummeled. I can imagine their screams of aluminum terror. Then suddenly, the shed next door simply rolled over - three times actually. On the third roll it leapt into the air, and upon hitting the earth disintegrated into it's pre-assembled parts and blew away. Gone. Nothing but a bare spot where once had been a glorious shed. 

The next morning I walked out to our shed. It was hail-scarred and a little out of square. But it stood. And all the things it protected within were undamaged - saved by the shed's secret: a firm foundation.

We all choose to build our house (life) on something. If we don't choose, by default the choice is made for us. And really, that is worse than choosing poorly. A good foundation makes all the difference. We can drive stakes as deeply as we desire into unfirm ground. But eventually, they will tear away. When we build on a strong foundation, we weather the storm. Sure, we may be hail-scarred and a little out of square. But we will stand. Jesus promised.

One of my favorite Psalms reads:

I waited patiently on the Lord; 

and he inclined to me and heard my cry.

He drew me up from the pit of destruction,

Out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock,

making my steps secure.

He put a new song in my mouth,

a song of praise to our God. 

-- Psalm 40:1-3

Storms will come. You and I know it because we have lived it - are living it. Jesus said lives built on his words will stand through the storms. What words? He specifically refers to those we know as the Sermon on the Mount. These are words of relationship with God that overpowers religious presupposition; purity of motive (heart) that kills pretense and bigotry; authenticity that destroys hypocrisy. 

We are all building on something. And I hear the wind...

God, I will build my shed on you, the rock and only secure foundation.

For now...

D

STEW

Until recently my blogs posts were separated into three categories: Faith, Fitness, Purpose/Motivation/Everything Else. My blog adventure began by writing about fitness goals just prior to turning 50.

It was difficult at times to distinguish in writing which category a particular post would fit. Often, I might begin writing on fitness, only to cross into motivation. Or more likely, I might write on motivation and cross into faith, or vice-versa. (As an example, this post was originally entitled, A STUMBLER'S JOURNEY - which I'll come back to - but became STEW. (And you'll understand why in a moment.)

Though at times my life, like yours, may seem segmented, I am not - and neither are you. We are each of us, one person made up of many aspects. Our bodies, minds (emotions and intellect), spirit or soul, all come together to make up who we are. We are a unique stew of ingredients. But in the end, we are not the individual ingredients, we are the stew.

All this is explanation. Posts on davidstanleykineticlife.blogspot.com reflect different aspects of my stew. Some ingredients you may like, some you may not. But hopefully as it all comes together the flavor and substance of this stew will be relevant and in some way satisfy.

One of my Back-to-its for the New Year is to complete my STUMBLER'S JOURNEY through the New Testament. These posts wont be uploaded to LinkedIn, but will be posted on Facebook and Google+ (which I have no idea how to utilize). I mention this also due to some comments I've received that run along the lines of, "Hey, stop the preaching and get back to the "Purpose" stuff; or "Great, you did a leg workout, now get back to Matthew chapter seven." (By the way, I'm being a little over the top to make the point, as all the personal comments have been very friendly in nature.)

So all the stew (worth writing about) will be in the same pot -davidstanleykineticlife.blogspot.com. Enjoy. Or pick out the carrots and toss them if you'd like.

For now...
D

GET YOUR FEET WET

I made a decision quite a while back. It's not really a vow; but almost. When life finds me near the ocean I make an effort to get my feet wet. This pseudo-self-pact has put me ankles deep in the midnight moonlight in Charleston; body-surfing (completely unprepared) in a shrivellingly chilly Pacific; knee deep in the Great White's home turf Indian Ocean off South Africa's Eastern Cape; and the requisite frolics in the Gulf - which really don't count because most were designed beach excursions. (Not to mention an early spring run in, and quickly out of, Lake Michigan - not an ocean, so it only kind of counts. Oh yeah, and an ill-advised winter swim in Old Mill Creek - but that was college, and something we really don't talk about.)

My point is, I have to be reminded from time to time to get my feet wet. Literally doing so drives the point home. LIVE! GET YOUR FEET WET!

I don't necessarily like sand getting into places averse to sand (and abrasion). It is easier most times to simply enjoy the view. It is more comfortable. But when I get my feet wet, it reminds me life is not about seeking the greatest comfort. Life is about passion. Life is about LIVING!

Can't hide selfies from mirrored lenses

So today's cardio was a power-walk on Cocoa Beach in the rain. The guy next to me on the flight home is probably less excited about my wet-dog, sweaty beach smell. But hey, I got my feet wet!

Get your feet wet!

For now...
D

And a little work on the pier

Why I Am Quitting "Working Out"

I am done working out. It is my resolution. I realize this is counter to a seemingly infinite number of resolutions - especially judging by the crowds in my gym the last seven days.

Sadly, we all know the plethora of spandexed gym-goers will suffer drastic reduction. Soon. Many begin their new workout lifestyle with best intentions. Resolutions to
lose weight, get healthy, be active, and so on. Most will quit working out. I am done working out too.

I've worked out most of my life; since most of my life is now the span between being a competitive athlete and today. I've hit the gym. I've lifted hard. I've ellipticalled, and rowed; run and stepped. It's been a pretty good run (pardon that pun). But now I'm done.

I am done working out.

And I begin to train (again).

Training is not the same as working out. There is a focus and purpose inherent in training that is absent in working out. At the very least, these hugely important motivators became stunted (for me).

I have a daughter who plays professional soccer. She trains. Another daughter is a competitive fitness athlete. She trains. My son plays basketball. He trains.

Somewhere along the way, I started working out, and forgot to train... In many areas of life.

So...

I'm done working out in the gym. I will train. 

I'm done working out in my relationships. I will train. 

I am done working out in my spiritual life. I will train.

I am done working out in my career. I will train. 

I am done working out with my purpose. I will train. 

I will train... because working out will not bring me the life for which I am designed. 

I will train...

Sometimes training hurts... Not training kills.

For now...

D

MAKE YOUR BED

What was the first thing you did this morning? Today being the first of a new year, I'll ask, what is the first thing you did in 2017?

Me? Made the bed. I was never a bed-maker in the past. I just figured, why; I'm going to crawl right back in there tonight. Then I saw this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgzLzbd-zT4

I feel a strange sense of accomplishment making my bed first thing - shoulder aching from sleeping wrong (it's an old football thing), in desperate need of coffee and the bathroom (it's an old thing).

It's kind of funny: I never really know where a post is headed when I begin to write. This one began as a Back-to-it (more on that in a minute). It started out as a devotional thought on Matthew chapter seven; which I'll get-back-to as soon as this is wrapped.

That said, while I was at the gym I began thinking about resolutions. Studies show that gyms across the country will be overcrowded for about 15 days. That's right, most resolutions last until January 15th. I'm no expert, but I think there are a few reasons for this. First, we make unbending resolutions with no room for self-grace. We say, "I will never...," or "I will always..." And at the first failure we are defeated. Secondly, we don't explore underlying beliefs and behaviors that act as self-made booby-traps lying in wait to blow up our new energy and momentum. And thirdly, we naively think change comes quickly. We miss the joy in the journey toward the goal. (In many ways, the journey is, in fact, the goal.)

So, at risk of running on too long with the post - and in no small part, with the help of the likes of Andy Stanley and Tony Robbins, here are a couple resolution thoughts I am applying:

- First things first. Make your bed! It's more than that actually. First things first means that I need to major on the majors and let the minors take care of themselves. It means having priorities not only through lip-service, but action.
- My direction determines my destination. I cannot change my destination in one day, but I can certainly change my direction NOW. And the direction on which I set out will determine my journey's destination.
- Back-to-its. There are practices in my life that I must get back to. These practices are first things first and directional. And therefore, musts and not shoulds.
- Musts over shoulds. Shoulds last until January 15. Musts drive us. Musts mold us. Musts write our story.
- Offer grace (to me). I am pretty good at extending grace to others. Not always so with self-grace. I'm cutting down on the I will nevers and I will always. Even so, I will fail. I will fall. And I will be gracious to myself. I will get up. I will continue on the journey.
- I hold the pen. My story is over half-written at this point. And though I have been formed by the words penned in the story of me, I am not destined to continue in the same narrative. The rest of my story is blank pages. And I hold the pen. (As a man of faith, I am in no way discounting God's hand. As a matter of fact, I will choose today whether to follow my understanding of his direction.) My point is, the words already written in the story of our lives does not determine the words yet to come. Today I have the opportunity to write with creativity and love what my story will be.

Oh - And I made my bed.

For now...
D

Why this god?

There are many gods: gods of fame, gods of fortune, gods of war, gods of love. There are football gods - there must be, I heard commentators refer to them and players point up to them. There are gods of vengeance and gods of... you get the point.

So the day after we celebrate the birth of Christ I'm led to ask a question: WHY THIS GOD?

It is my nature to question. My DNA leads me to wonder (as I wander). I am skeptical and sometimes critical. My four-year-old why? has grown into middle-age with me.

On the point of this question however, I am not left with only speculation. There are a multitude of things I doubt in this life - most have to do with me - but on this one, I'm settled.

WHY THIS GOD?

If you'll allow, I will answer another question first: Why not the other gods? 

First, they are little gods; and thus, the little g in gods. Secondly, they are limited gods. Thirdly, they are not God. As a matter of fact, they are not even gods, except that we give them the power to be.

But here is the most important reason; and the one that is particularly relevant and beautiful during this season. Gods - as in little-g gods (unfortunately the word begins this sentence and is therefore, captialized) - require from us. They require either power from us so they can be gods, or they require performance from us, that we might please them. Every fake god of our making fits into the former category, and every known god of religion, with the exception of ONE, fits into the latter.

So... WHY THIS GOD? 

...and he will be called Immanuel...

-- Isaiah 7:14

It is more than a nickname; it's his nature. And his mission. Immanuel (Emmanuel in the language of the New Testament) simply and powerfully means: GOD WITH US. 

This God doesn't need anything from us to be (or be more) God. He IS. This God doesn't even say to us, "Jump through this hoop, and this one, and this one... to please me enough to give you some sort of hope." This God is Immanuel, the God who came to us. And that is the difference. 

I'm not sure if you caught it. God came to us. He didn't ask us to climb to heaven via some moral rope ladder to prove ourselves worthy. Little-g gods demand we ascend to prove ourselves. This God condescended (and condescends) because, as stained as we are, he knows our worth. 

WHY THIS GOD? Because ...the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost - Luke 19:10. Immanuel came to us with a mission. He came to us with open arms and a smile. 

HE... CAME... TO... US. 

And that is WHY THIS GOD?

For now...

D