Living Lessons, pt.1 - A Lesson From the Shoe Shine Stand

Javier 

This is Javier. He has a shoe shine business in the Las Vegas Convention Center. Javier has shined shoes for 50 years. Javier is happy. Javier loves life. How do I know all this? I asked. (Though honestly, I really didn't need to.)

I sat down at the shoe shine stand because I could sit. Finally. Fitness trackers on two of my colleagues' phones logged the literal marathon distance we covered on foot in our few days in Vegas. So with a break in the action, I sat down at Javier's stand for a shoe shine; and received a lesson in living.

Javier was born in Mexico City. He loves his home country and he loves the US, his home of over 50 years. For those 50 years Javier has shined shoes, and lifted spirits. Some people are DRAGGERS and others are LIFTERS; in every interaction we have an opportunity to drag others down or lift them up. Javier is a LIFTER. He enjoys people. It is evident in his smile and in his words. I watched later in the day as two different men exited Javier's chair. Each shook his hand genuinely and talked for a few minutes - laughter, smiles and handshakes. I haven't received many shoe shines, but don't think this is normal protocol. It speaks to Javier's contagious attitude.

And there it is: ATTITUDE. Simply put, Javier's lesson is that life is what you make it. For you this is probably no major epiphany. I however, need the reminder. Many of our circumstances are not chosen. They are random and beyond our control. Yet what is never out of our control, is our opportunity and ability to respond. We alone control our attitude.

Volume upon volume has been written about attitude. The attitude to which I am referring - and what Javier lives - is much more than a "be-happy-attitude." His is a perspective, a worldview that is fundamentally positive. It is the way he chooses to view people, circumstances and the world around him. (Obviously I had an in-depth conversation with Javier. I'm not intuitive enough to have picked all this up between polish and buff).

Invictus is Latin, for unconquered. The person who chooses to never be a victim, no matter the circumstance, is unconquerable. External circumstances may not change. But the invictus perspective changes everything. And Javier is living, smiling proof.

William Henley's words have moved me from the first time I heard them. I would argue a couple of the specifics theologically. They speak powerfully however, of the will and attitude of the unconquered.

Until next time Javier, keep smiling, keep shining, keep LIFTING.

For now...
D

P.S. This is Salah. I can't wait to tell you his story!

Closet Reflections

I did something the other day that I really don't enjoy. I cleaned out my closet. Well, to be honest, I began what is proving to be a multi-step process. To say I don't enjoy it is may be misleading and an understatement. I've only done it twice in my adult life as can be attested by the Z-Cavaricci jeans and PePe jacket that were unearthed. (It's hard to throw out a perfectly good pair of Zumba pants.)

My four step process: 1) Dig. 2) Decide what is needed and why. 3) Throw out (or donate) what is unnecessary. 4) Reorganize with a plan.

My closet was pathetic. When my bedroom is presentable my closet takes the brunt. Not too long ago a friend looked in my closet. I was embarrassed to say the least. There was nothing horrible hidden in there, though I had a sneaking suspicion the Z-Cavariccis were lurking, ready to pounce. The chaos of my closet however, was unnerving.

So I decided to finally do something about it!

Like... stylin'

We need to clean out the closet from time to time. We need to take inventory. There are things in there that shouldn't be; remnants of the past that need to be gone. Some things in the closet are hidden and need to be uncovered. They are perfectly good and need to be used, but they've been covered up. We've lost sight they are even there. We may find some things that need to be cherished. Forgotten things of joy, that have been buried by an avalanche of t-shirts and socks without mates (or even the prospect of dates). My closet is a collection point of good and bad, usable and not, treasure and crap.

The metaphor is obviously close to the surface. I have an internal closet that is much like my physical one. You do too. Left untended it gets stuffy and full of junk.  In ways both conscious and subconscious it effects every area of my life (the rest of the house). In it are shelves for emotions, relationships, identity, beliefs, etc. (In my closet, the dominant rack is a spiritual one.) It easily gets disorganized and chaotic without continual care and maintenance. Occasionally, it needs a thorough overhaul.

I began a bit of a journey just over a year ago - in reality, it's been much longer. Today is my birthday. (I may have to retitle this blog.) And I've recently found myself doing some CLOSET REFLECTING. I am in the process of 1) Digging. 2) Deciding what is needed and why. 3) Throwing out what is unnecessary. 4) Reorganizing with a plan.

I decided to finally do something about it! You?

Bday morning... I'm smiling on the inside!

For now...
D

YOUR BACKSWING

The three men pictured above are professional golfers Dustin Johnson, Jim Fuyrik and Shane Lowry. And it looks like two of them are about to have very sore right ankles. Actually, the pictures were taken individually a couple weeks ago at the Bridgestone Invitational; at the top of each golfer's backswing. The three were then set side by side for comparison.

Near perfect, overly vertical, and across the line. At least that is my analysis (from left to right).

"So what? So let's dance!

By the way, if you loathe golf, stick with me, I think there is application. And if you are a subtle-dressing Al Czervik wanna be, well, I had you at golf.

The golf swing is one of the most analyzed movements in all of sports. From address position to posture. From takeaway to follow through. Watch any golf tournament and you will see slow-mo and super slow-mo with telestrated lines drawn indicating plane and path and target line, ad nauseum.

What struck me when I saw the picture (the three guys, not Caddyshack) had little to do with golf, however. How is it that three guys can look so different half-way through the golf swing - at the top - and yet get such incredible and consistent results when club reaches ball? After all, one is thought to be the most talented young golfer having not yet won a major, one is a U.S. Open winner, and the third won the tournament at which the pictures were taken.

Golf swing gurus preach perfect positioning throughout the golf swing. However, many great golfers have some funk to their swing. Some idiosyncrasies are the result of physical limitations, some are ingrained from youth. But the bottom line is this: if you are making a living playing on the PGA Tour, something is working for you.

Golf is an amazingly frustrating thing. The ball just sits there... and laughs at you! Unlike baseball, it is not moving at 95 mph; unlike football, large men are not trying to rip it away; and unlike soccer, you get to use your hands - at least on the club.

So here's the thing: the ball just sits there waiting for you to do something to it. The ball doesn't know what color plaid your pants are, or how expensive your clubs. It sits and waits. The ball doesn't care what you look like at address... how you take the club away... or your position at the top. All the ball cares about is impact; those .0004 seconds that club and ball meet.

That's a peach, hon!

Four factors come into play at impact: 1) Club face orientation; 2) Club head direction; 3) Club head speed; and 4) Point of contact 

If you'll allow me to preach for a moment (and the life analogies begin):

• Orientation: Are you square to your target? It's your target, you picked it. Are you squared-up properly? If not, what will it take?
• Direction: Is your life swing path in the direction you want? Corrections can be made in the downswing, it's difficult, but go ahead and make them. Then through work and repetition, create the proper swing path.  
• Speed: Let's call this one MOMENTUM. Are you accelerating or decelerating? Never, never decelerate (even on short putts)!
• Contact: It should be crisp and clean, and on purpose. This is where the impact takes place. You have .0004 seconds to send the golf ball where you intend. How much time do you have with your child? Your spouse? Your friends, family, co-workers...? You get the point. 

Last thing about the demon white ball (You use yellow or orange, and call yourself a golfer? C'mon!). The ball doesn't care what kind of day you've had prior to this shot. It doesn't remember your last shot, whether it be a 300 yard drive or a complete shank. The ball waits... for impact.

The golf/life analogies are endless. (Just watch Caddyshack and The Legend of Bagger Vance. You'll pretty much have it summed up. Well, throw in The Greatest Game Ever Played and Tin Cup).

If you'll allow me to sum up with a self-directed sermonette:

• It doesn't matter if you have funk in your swing... SWING!
• It doesn't matter what you look like at the top or how you got where you are. I guess it does in the sense that your story is important. Your pain. Your joys. Your defeats. Your victories. They all have meaning and are meaningful in the way they have shaped you. But they are your backswing... SWING!
• Be the ball (I had to).
• It's just you, the ball and the target... GRIP IT AND RIP IT... SWING!

For now...

D

Burrito Bag Wisdom

Last night my son and I were driving home from Chipotle. Along the way he noticed something written on the carry-out bag. Though the burrito bowl and quesadilla were really good, the story my son read from the bag may have been the highlight.

I liked it. I am recounting the story verbatim from the burrito bag.

Two-Minute Alchemy
by Paulo Coelho

A legend tells of a man who used to carry water every day to his village, using two large pitchers tied on either end of a piece of wood, which he placed across his shoulders. 

One of the pitchers was older than the other and was full of small cracks; every time the man came back along the path to his house, half of the water was lost.

For two years, the man made the same journey. The younger pitcher was always very proud of the way it did its work and was sure that it was up to the task for which it had been created, while the other pitcher was mortally ashamed that it could carry out only half its task, even though it knew that the cracks were the result of long years of work. 

So ashamed was the old pitcher that, one day, while the man was preparing to fill it up with water from the well, it decided to speak to him.

"I wish to apologize because, due to my age, you only manage to take home half the water you fill me with, and thus quench only half the thirst awaiting you in your house."

The man smiled and said, "When we go back, be sure to take a careful look at the path."

The pitcher did as the man asked and noticed many flowers and plants growing along one side of the path.

"Do you see how much more beautiful nature is on your side of the road?" the man remarked. "I knew you had cracks, but I decided to take advantage of them. I sowed vegetables and flowers there, and you always watered them. I've picked dozens of roses to decorate my house, and my children have had lettuce, cabbage and onions to eat. If you were not the way you are, I could never have done this." 

It is sometimes difficult to accept our cracks; and harder still to value them. But take a look along the path... what do you see?

For now...
D

...sounds like... JUICE!

If we stop for a moment... if we look a little deeper... if we know for what we are listening... we find there is inspiration all around. It's there. It's here. We just have to look. We have to listen. The symphonic tones of inspiration are often subtle. The crashing cymbals of everyday stuff tend to drown them out - but never over-power them. As Shawn O'Connell says to Walter Mitty, "Beautiful things don't ask for attention."

Sorry for the mixed movie references in this post

We live in a culture - with its 24 hour news cycle, sensational reporting and reality TV - that inundates us with... well, the word I want to use slips out of my mouth at times, but is hard to type. Sometimes we need a little help tuning in. (Cue the music). 

I'm a sucker for a good pep talk. More than that, I love inspirational stories, inspirational speeches, inspirational people. Maybe I'm an inspiration junkie. At heart, I want to be inspired and to inspire. (That's a pretty big aspiration... to be an inspiration).

Each of us can be inspiration for someone. Stop and reread that last sentence. It's pretty much the point of this ramble. 

In the movie Million Dollar Arm, the least likely character, Amit, becomes the needed inspiration for two young Indian baseball pitchers to overcome their fears. A passionate baseball fan and want-to-be coach, Amit is given the opportunity to deliver the pre-tryout speech to his two nervous countrymen. As he begins to look in his coaching book for what he should say, he is told, "...from the heart." And he delivers:

YOU are real baseball players. Now small boys in India can dream to be like you. Let's go make JB, miss Brenda and our families proud...

Hey brothers... I'm seeing my dream in both of you. 

Your victory is my victory. Rock it brothers!

Amit's speech resonates. It could have come from Herb Brooks to the '80 Miracle On Ice hockey team, Mickey to Rocky (it's real, don't you doubt it!), or Knute Rockne to the Fighting Irish. 

A couple lessons on inspiration from Amit:

Inspiration... 

• ... comes from the heart. It can't be faked, drummed up or put on auto-pilot. Inauthenticity kills inspiration!
• ... comes from genuinely caring. Inspiration, void of personal investment, is noise.
• ... is inclusive. Inspiration has to be we and not you, or it is short-lived. 
• ... requires sacrifice. We can't fill someone else unless we poured out. The Greatest Inspirer of all time said, "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Then he went and did it!

You can inspire someone... today. 

Even more than that,

You are an inspiration to someone... right now!

Their victory is your victory... so ROCK IT BROTHER (or SISTER)!

For now...

D

P.S. - If you're wondering about the title, rent the movie :) 

GRAD!!!

This is a little - OK, way - late...

My (eldest) baby girl graduated from the University of Southern California this week. She didn't have the opportunity to walk across the stage because she is currently in Seattle pursuing her dream playing professional soccer. 

To say I'm proud of her would be a massive understatement. She has exceeded my dreams and expectations in becoming the young woman she is. Her faith in Christ is most important to her and she has a compassionate heart toward those around her. 

At times I have parented out of fear. No longer. I trust God's presence and plan for her. 

C, I can't wait to see all the future holds for you!


An aside: As I'm writing this, Pirates of the Caribbean is on the TV. The theme music is deeply emotional to me. It was the music to my younger daughter's floor routine as a competitive gymnast. I guess it's just an afternoon for nostalgia. 

For now...
D

Fake it 'til... (pt.3)

FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT...

FAKE IT 'TIL YOU BECOME IT...

BE IT 'TIL YOU BECOME IT!

Let's get right to the point. 

There is more in us than we know. 

More potential. More capacity. More ability. 

MUCH MORE!

Since I am for the moment enamored with Davy Crockett, I'll stretch the analogy out like salt-water taffy. Davy Crockett didn't become Davy Crockett at the Alamo. He was Davy long before. In fact, Davy Crockett was Davy Crockett all the time he was becoming Davy Crockett. Dizzying, but still with me? 

For just a moment you and I are sitting with Davy on the wall of the Alamo the fateful night before Santa Anna's canons reign down fire. You ask the legend, "When did you truly become Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier?" He smiles and as the light from a hundred torches dances in his eyes he says, "I've been Davy Crockett from the beginning. He's who I am, and who I am becoming." 

If I could sum up these last three posts in a phrase, it would be this paradox: 

You and I are who we are becoming... 

and we are becoming who we are!

I remember reading Malcolm Gladwell's wonderful book Outliers. In it Gladwell espouses the 10,000 HOUR RULE. His premise is that it takes roughly ten thousand hours of practice to achieve mastery in a field. (The theory has come under fire recently, but It's really not the point here). Gladwell paints his picture with the stories of many successful people; among them John, Paul, George, Ringo and Bill. (That's The Beatles and Bill, as in Gates). 

It is however, possible to draw an errant conclusion from the 10,000 HOUR RULE. The Beatles didn't magically become the Beatles as hour number nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine ticked through the final of it's thirty six hundred seconds. They were The Beatles with every chord strummed and harmony sung the whole time they were becoming the Beatles. Bill Gates was the inquisitive, creative, focused kid during those nights and weekends tucked away in the Seattle computer lab long before Microsoft ever was. 

Two problems with Fake it 'til you make it... The first is that we really can't fake it. I know I can't. I value authenticity far too much and can't stand it's antithesis, inauthenticity - especially when I see it in the mirror! The second problem with the concept is in the destination - ... make it. What does it mean to make it? When have we made it? Will we know? And the corollary questions have haunted the successful for eons: WHAT NEXT? and; IS THIS ALL THERE IS?

So we ditched Fake it 'til you make it... in favor of Fake it 'til you become it... Definitely better; but the transformation isn't complete. It still has us acting outside of ourselves (i.e. inauthentically). It does, however bring a sense that journey is the point; destination is actually - dare I say it - kind of irrelevant. 

So we come to the final transformation: BE IT 'TIL YOU BECOME IT...

We act on our beliefs; what we believe about ourselves, others, the world around us, and the deeper purpose behind. (Herein lies the faith component I alluded to in the first post on the subject.) And though our beliefs are all the time being honed and defined, they make up the engine that drives us.  

Our Beliefs determine and direct our actions. 

It is important to note that we act on our beliefs and not on what we say we believe - a subtle, yet massive distinction! May I once again make a case for the gargantuan value of authenticity?! But I'll save this one for future posts. (I believe I will soon be writing a subsequent vein of posts delving more deeply into faith). 

So there you have it - or at least all I have to add to the discussion at this point. There is more in you than you know. More potential. More capacity. More ability. Much more! Believe it... Act on it... Become it! As (coach) Herb Brooks said to (goalie) Jim Craig after the USA was embarrassingly beaten 10-3 by the Russians just prior to the MIRACLE of Lake Placid: "Have you (Jim)? Given me your very best? Because I know there's a lot more in you, a whole other level, that for some reason you just don't want to go..." 

My encouragement to you... Go there! I used to listen to a radio preacher that closed every broadcast with these words:

You are who you are... because of the 

Master Artist who put you together. 

Enjoy the Journey!!!

BE IT... YOU ARE BECOMING IT!!!

For now...

D