Thanks...

Thanks... for the next 500 breathes that I'll be blessed with before this post is finished (I'm stepping out on faith and assuming I'll breathe to the end).

Thanks... for children. My children are my blessing. But all children are incredible.

Thanks... for sunflower seeds, the staple of my diet.

Thanks... for friends; all friends, but especially the I've got your back no matter what kind.

Thanks... for the pain of a hurt heart. Only love can leave that brand of scar. And it reminds that there has truly been (and will be) love.

Thanks... for The United States of America. Troubled? Yes. But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Thanks... for the shoulder pain when I sleep on my right side. It reminds me of the way I could once throw and run and enjoy a kid's game.

Thanks... for my old Golden, Max. It has come down to just him and me in the house a lot more and a lot more quickly than I could have imagined. And he always thinks I'm the biggest deal.

Thanks... that at 50, I feel better (other than said shoulder) and fitter than I've been since my 20's.

Thanks... for the fact that if I listed everything for which I should give thanks, this blog post would expand to a novel. Whole chapters would be dedicated to names and faces, blessings and struggles; all conduits of hope, joy and growth.

Thanks... for the abiding sense that it's all going to work out in the end.

Thanks... for... EVERYTHING!

One might wonder why I wrote it this way; Thanks..., instead of, I'm thankful for... 
It's a good thing to be thankful. It's healthy and adds perspective. However, when I say thanks, it reminds me that my thankfulness is object-oriented. In other words, I'm not just thankful; I'm thankful to SOMEONE.

Thanks... for closing the gap of your goodness and my badness through the gift of your SON (Oh... and Happy Birthday in a month!)

Hey... still breathing! (Psalm 150:6)

For now...
D

Comparison Kills!

Years ago I attended a small town high society party. (I know that sounds a bit odd.). I only knew one person in attendance so it was an evening of introductions and small-talk.  Often, while my acquaintance who was obligated to attend, was socializing and working the room, I was left alone to fend for myself.

(Not rugged!)

At one point in the evening, while "fending" I noticed an interesting looking pair of men. One appeared as though
he'd come right off the pages of a Ralph Lauren Country catalog - big, rugged and expensively dressed, wearing boots that probably cost more than my car. The other had razor sharp creases in his slacks, a crisply starched shirt under his herringbone jacket and not a hair out of place. I walked up to them and introduced myself.

We small talked for about 30 seconds then came the inevitable question...

Sooo... What do you DO?

I wish I'd been the smart-ass then that I am now. I could have had fun with my response. Instead, I answered, "I'm a pastor."

Have you ever blown a balloon up just a little too much, then pulled the opening apart to listen to the air gush out while making that annoying high-pitched squeal as the balloon deflates? At the word "pastor" that's what I heard... and felt. It was almost as if I'd thrown up on their very nice footwear. Both men visibly stiffened and stood speechless for just a moment, looked down at their drinks and looked off; as if to say, "We want you to go away now." I did offer a quick and fairly SA response; "Yeah, that's effect it usually has on a conversation." They turned, I turned, and I decided for the rest of the evening I would be a Fireman.

Clearly my answer to the all important question, WHAT DO YOU DO? was not impressive to these two. My response didn't measure up, and therefore, I didn't measure up. It may be mainly a manly thing (as in men do it, though it's truly not that manly). We judge according to the answer to THE question. We've gone for the head-fake. It is slight of hand, and we lost which cup the ball is under. Enough with the analogies. Here's the point...

We falsely believe that 

WHAT WE DO (for work) is WHO WE ARE. 

But it would be uncomfortable in a social setting to be introduced to someone and lead with the question, "So WHO are you... really?" It's much easier to ask what someone does - which is OK. It's a surface question in a surface encounter. The problem comes with the judgement that follows. It is deeply personal, even ontological. We immediately begin to categorize a pecking order. And at the heart of this pecking order is COMPARISON. And can I let the cat out of the bag right now?

Comparison Kills!

I'm going to leave it today with a question. I want to deal with this question in the next post. Frankly, I've been wrestling with it hard in my life for a while. But for now I'm heading to church with my son and to an early Thanksgiving celebration with family (That feels like the successful thing...)


Here is the question...

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

For now...
D

(DIPS pt.3) RIDING THE STORM OUT

Some storms should not be ridden out. We've all seen the reporter hanging on to a stop sign while broadcasting a live remote in the teeth of an oncoming hurricane. Even George Clooney - with the help of Mark(y Mark) Wahlberg - couldn't overcome the waves of The Perfect Storm. Some storms should not be ridden out. (But not because they are difficult or the waves are big - we'll come to that). 

Side B to that record also plays true (remember vinyl?). Some storms MUST be ridden out... because what lies on the other side is so WORTH IT!

We may call it a storm. Seth Godin calls it The Dip. The Bible often calls it the desert. (I will use these terms interchangeably and mashed together). Whatever moniker we put on it, the bottom line is it is a hard, often lonely place. It shakes our faith, our confidence, and... well, it sucks! The Storm-Dip-Desert is doubt incubator on steroids. In its midst, we question our vision and ourselves.

Hollywood is going to give it another shot this Christmas. A new big-screen version of the Moses story is coming to a theater near you. Exodus: Gods and Kings - I really hope Hollywood gets it right. I didn't mean to give you whiplash with the abrupt change of directions, but there is a point. Moses is a case study in Storm-Dip-Desert. It is ironic that Batman* is playing Moses in Exodus: God's and Kings. The two actually have a lot in common. Both were brought up in opulence and given the best of the best; culture, education, extravagance. Everything. In the end, both become deliverers of sorts; bringers of justice, and instruments of a high calling. OK, that's as far as I'll take the Batman thing. I really lost interest after Heath Leger's amazing Joker anyway. As for Moses however, that is only a shallow dive into an incredibly complex and tangled life story.

Most are familiar with Heston's Moses; the white-haired, fiery alpha-male leader. But the Bible paints a different picture. As stated earlier, Moses' early life was one of abundance and easy success. However, his high calling, unrestrained by understanding, strategy or temperance got the better of him. Moses acted impulsively, striking out at oppression by focusing his rage-passion in one murderous action. My goal here is not to go into the moral or spiritual implications. (I will say that I'm considering an alternative blog to coincide with DStanFit50! that will be more along the lines of the sermons I used to preach - but that is neither here nor there for the issue at hand).

It is the result - the 40 year result - of Moses' actions that I want to make the point. Regardless of whether you believe the Bible to simply be great literature, a word from God or the word of God, there is power and application in Moses' Storm-Dip-Desert story. Moses, raised in the palace of Pharaohs, finds himself banished to a barren wasteland; of all things herding sheep. For 40 years no less! Moses is in a symbolic storm, a depressive dip, a literal dry desert. Apparently the place was so dry and hot that brush fires would spontaneously spring up and were not a thing to be much noticed. Read the story closely, you'll see it... it's not a burning bush that catches Moses' attention. It is that the bush burned, but didn't burn up.

I'm sure Moses wanted to give up many times. Although it's not specifically spelled-out, I believe that Moses' passion for his high calling, his idea of TMTITKTMTTMT (see Sep 17th post, Focus) drove him to push through. He kept dreaming, kept hoping, kept believing (Oct 14th Don't Stop Believin').

You see, though the storm is savage, the dip deep and the desert dry, we must push through. How do we know if we are to Strategically Quit or Stick it Out? This list is not exhaustive: 1) Refocus on the Target, 2) Talk to smart people that have our best interest in mind (and no other motive), 3) Think through the implications of quitting, and 4) GO WITH OUR GUT. 

What do we learn in the Storm-Dip-Desert? We learn patience. We learn perseverance. We learn LBs and NTs (Like Best & Next Time). But I think the most important thing learned in Storm-Dip-Desert though is HUMILITY. Jim Collins writes in Good To Great that humility is the the distinguishing characteristic in Level 5 Leaders. Do you know how the Bible describes Moses later in his life? The former palace brat, rich boy, impulsive reactionary is described in this way, "...Moses was more humble than any person on earth..."

The Storm-Dip-Desert doesn't feel good. I won't lie and make it sound like a happy place. It is not fun, but it is necessary! If you are not currently in the Storm-Dip-Desert I have news: You have either just come out or are about to head in. Sorry! Oh, there is a third alternative... those who never attempt to live to a greater purpose, to ascend to higher highs don't have to deal with many Storm-Dip-Deserts.

I am in one NOW. I hate it, but I love it. I want out of it, but I'm thankful for it.


For now...
D

*I had to throw this in just in case I lost you on the Batman reference. Or maybe you haven't seen the trailer yet for Exodus: Gods and Kings. Christian Bale, who is Batman to a generation - sorry you Michael Keaton and George Clooney lovers - plays Moses in the new version.

PERSPECTIVE...

Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? Me too. Allow me to build a case for why you should feel sorry for me right now. Then I'll put on my big-boy pants.

Thursday evening I drove straight to the gym in Dallas from a work site. I was flying out early the next morning and wanted to get in a workout before heading to the hotel. (This blog does have FIT in the title, afterall!). Following a good workout - and frankly, a long day - I walked out into the cold night air to my rental, with protein shake in hand. As I approached the rented Kia, I thought to myself, "what's all that brown stuff in the back seat?" My next thought... "huh, why am I looking directly into the back seat?" You guessed it, the brown stuff in the back seat was the tinted back window shattered into about 17,000 small pieces. Gone was my backpack filled with business and personal effects, along with my carry-on bag; all-told, thousands of dollars. It was a bad evening.

Fast forward to this morning. As I was drinking my coffee, contemplating some of the loose ends that need tying up from Thursday's theft, I received a call - the kind dads fear. My youngest daughter was stranded on the side of the road. The quick version, I now have the opportunity to purchase a new engine for her car. After a few calls to discover that local shops were slammed and closing soon, I determined that there was nothing I could do until Monday. (Obviously, I retrieved both she and the car).

Feeling sorry for me yet? I am embarrassed to admit... I was. My internal dialogue; "I am a victim of circumstances. No one should go through this crap!" If you are still with me at this point, please hang in just a little longer; I hope to make a point.

After the morning excitement I headed to the gym.. About one-third through a tough leg workout I was on the Hack-squat. The machine is close to a mirror and it was almost impossible not to watch myself as I strained and grimaced. That's when I noticed my shirt in the mirror.

BTW... I can't be held responsible for gym mirror cleanliness!

This post is about PERSPECTIVE. The mirror image you see here was interpreted by my brain as 26.2 TRIAL. As in one long-a#! trial; or a marathon trial. I thought, "You're telling me!"


Then it struck me. That's not what was written on my shirt. Though my "victim" brain interpreted it as TRIAL, the bold message of the shirt is 26.2 TRAIL. The shirt was presented to the finishers of the brutal (at least I thought so) Freestate Trail Marathon. 26.2 miles of trails, up and down hills, over rocks and roots. (I face-planted three times!) But as I mentioned in an earlier post, I FINISHED! I got the shirt.

So what my brain interpreted, due to my perspective and my "poor me" mentality, was actually the exact opposite of what was presented. The message of the shirt?

Dude, you're a marathoner... you are a finisher... you are an overcomer! 

I choose that message!

I'm not promoting a foolish choice to turn from facing reality. I'm simply saying that we must keep everything in perspective. (And I'm preaching to myself here!) All things considered; things are pretty damn good. Let's take inventory. 

• I lost all my stuff while traveling...
• I have a great job and have the opportunity to do some traveling around this country. 
• I have "stuff" to lose in first place. Ever been to Africa, the outskirts of Tijuana or a mission center in the US?
• I'm not at a point in my life where I find it necessary to break into rented Kias to steal people's stuff. 
• Everything was stolen while I was in the gym... 
• I am blessed to be physically whole. 
• I am able to make choices to pursue fitness as a lifestyle.
• I have not been called on to make the kind of ultimate sacrifice as have those whom we celebrated last week for Veteran's Day.  
•  My daughter's car...
• OK, this one just sucks! Kidding.
• Many families in the most affluent country in the world can't afford a vehicle. I have had the "opportunity" to purchase many (along with multiple insurances, tires, fill-ups, toll-tags, etc.); and there will be many more before I'm done. 
• The call that interrupted my morning was a frantic call from my daughter about a break-down. It was not the calm voice of an Oklahoma Highway Patrolman informing me of an accident. 

PERSPECTIVE. People often claim to be optimists, viewing the glass as half-full.   Not me. Nor am I the pessimistic glass half-empty type. In my view these miss the bigger picture. They miss the point and they address the wrong question. My view... the glass was made to hold more. How do we fill it to its fullest potential? 

That is the question that intrigues me... that haunts me... that drives me! (Maybe that's a subject for a future post.)


For now...
D

Dips (random thoughts) What's the opposite of a Butt-Fumble?

(This post was unplanned... so the ramblings that follow might be shown a little grace if you'd be so kind. Thanks!)

Earlier this evening I was writing a little on DIPS: Question #2 (Where should I stick it out?). My working title is RIDING THE STORMS OUT. But I'm going to break from that for the moment. I found myself in a bit of a strange place. Having spent the last week traveling, I wrapped up the weekend in Los Angeles with my younger daughter. We were there for my older daughter's regular season finale soccer game. She plays for the USC Trojans as they took on archival UCLA in front of over 10,000 fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. It was a great weekend.

Tonight, however, I find myself alone in a hotel room south of Ft. Worth. I'm embarrassed to admit, but I have been feeling a little melancholy. So I finally said enough is enough and headed down to the fitness room. Often, getting my butt in gear physically sparks the brain, emotions and spirit. At least, that's the way it works for me. This was the case tonight. While taking my life in my hands on a very shaky elliptical trainer I watched the Philadelphia Eagles and Jacksonville Jags on Monday Night Football. The Eagles are now quarterbacked by Mark Sanchez, who is having a great run over the last few weeks. If you are familiar, you know that's kind of a big deal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vuvz15OjCVc

The last I remember of Sanchez was the infamous Butt-Fumble. Do you remember the butt-fumble? It marked probably the darkest hour, the lowest low for Mark Sanchez. A refresher... Mark Sanchez's career began with incredible promise as he stormed into the pro's out of USC. He was at times a competent NFL quarterback, and at others next to awful to the point of being considered a bust. Finally, he suffered the ultimate humiliation when, during a broken play, he turned to run the ball. Trying to cut, his feet slipped out from under him and he promptly planted his facemask in the (very large) posterior of one of his offensive linemen. So running face first into an offensive guard's arse, Sanchez fell to his. To make matters infinitely worse, he fumbled the football, which was returned by a defender for a touchdown. Sanchez later said, "Just like a car accident. I was like, 'Whoa. What just happened?' It's embarrassing." Sanchez - the promising young quarterback - became the punchline, the butt of jokes (c'mon, it was too easy!).

So tonight, working up a sweat and starting to feel a little better about life and myself, it struck a chord when Sanchez threw a long touchdown pass and then threw his arms up in celebration. He has been through the dip. He has been in the dark place. And at least for now, is enjoying the rewards of having STUCK IT OUT! The look on his face was one of PURE JOY. Who knows where his career will end up. But for tonight, and for the last month, Mark Sanchez is the toast of Philadelphia and on top of the world. WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF BUTT-FUMBLE?

Fitting that Sanchez now plays for Philly (home of Rocky!!)

I realized a few moments ago that I'm in the same hotel and on the same floor I was when I wrote the post a couple hours before turning 50. That night I was in reflection mode, staring at what I determined to be the new start line. This evening has been one of reflection. A little sweat, a little prayer and a little perspective sure helped. I'll never meet Mark Sanchez. But I'm thankful to him. He stuck it out. A Butt-Fumble is a hard thing to recover from. He's doing it. So can I... so can you.

For now...
D

(DIPS pt.2) The Power of STRATEGIC QUITTING, or, "I wish I could quit you..."

Question #1: What do I need to QUIT?

Question #2: Where do I need to STICK IT OUT?

I really like the movie Yes Man. (Thought I was going with Brokeback Mountain didn't you? NOPE!). In Yes Man Jim Carrey's character Carl has driven his life into a cul-de-sac. Carl's love life is in shambles, his career is going nowhere. Carl is at a crossroads, a standstill, a dead end; you pick the metaphor. The question is, can you in some ways relate? I can - more than I care to admit. Carl's life is a picture of everything that is completely opposite of what I am pushing toward with DstanFit50! Carl is in crisis.

Almost providentially, through a strange and comically awkward set of events Carl discovers the power of YES. Like most Jim Carrey movies, hilarity ensues and the story wraps with a nice warm feeling. But there is a message in the midst of the silliness. The underlying message of the movie, in my estimation, is that transformation is possible. We must however, be open to it. Even more, we should seek it.

Carl lived a small little life, full of fear and dead-ends. (A lot like Walter Mitty when I think about it! See my Pursuit post). But Carl is transformed. Carl thinks his new zest for life and the benefits he is experiencing are due to the karma that accompanies saying yes to absolutely everything that comes his way. But the truth is deeper and more subtle. This transformation comes through the power of opening up to possibilities. The magic is not in robotically saying yes to everything and everyone, and then abiding the ramifications - whether they be good, bad or just funny. The magic is in the ATTITUDE and ACTIONS that accompany an open spirit. A YES spirit... a YES attitude... YES actions.

So back to Question #1:

What do I need to QUIT?

We will come back to YES. But first let's consider NO. I could very well be going about this backward; and if so, sorry for the vertigo. But the fact is to say yes to the right things, we have to constantly say no to the wrong things.  I believe when we have a BIG YES in our lives it is easier to say NO to the things that don't propel us toward the realization and actualization of the BIG YES.  

In his book THE DIP Seth Godin has a term for this proactive practice of "no." He calls it Strategic Quitting. It is easy to say no to some things. To these we can passively say no with little effort. For example, saying no to heroin has always come very easily to me. As a matter of fact, I can't remember ever having to actively say no to heroin. However, saying no to prolonged periods of vegetative TV watching requires a more proactive approach. Saying no to a third viewing of The Big Bang Theory requires focus on that which is more important than Sheldon, Leonard or my laziness. Get the idea? Strategic Quitting isn't about saying NO to the bad - that's easy. Strategic Quitting requires saying NO to the marginally good, or even the good, in order to say YES to the best.

• Think about (list) three things that are easy to say no to. (Other than ending sentences - repeatedly - with prepositions!)
• Now think about three things that are not as easy to say no to... but that you normally say no to (or should).
• Now articulate (out loud, even) a BIG YES in your life. 
• Now stretch a little. Think about Three things that are good, but may be keeping you from best - from your BIG YES. Here is where it gets a little tough... are you willing to Strategically Quit? And if so, what's your strategy?

Once again to quote Zig Ziglar:

Motivation gets you going and habit gets you there.

So we must formulate a habit of Strategic Quitting. We must incessantly renew and reinforce our focus on the BIG YES and say no to all those things that don't move us in the direction of YES. Otherwise, we will find ourselves simply going with the flow with sub-par yeses. 

Sow a thought, reap an action

Sow an action, reap a habit

Sow a habit, reap a character

Sow a character, reap a destiny

Cul-de-sac Carl was transformed. Not by a motivational guru. And  not by saying yes to every silly thing. (It makes for a funny movie, but in reality would leave one broke and broken!) Carl was transformed because - if even on accident - he opened himself up to possibilities. He took risks. When we solidify our BIG YES and practice the art of Strategic Quitting we are empowered to dream and to risk - and to truly live. 

Enough for now. We'll tackle (or at least try to) Question #2 next time: 

Where do I need to stick it out?

For now...
D

DEVIL'S DIP

When I was around seven years old I ran over a rattle snake with my bicycle. What makes the event slightly more unique is that I was riding my green metal-flake schwinn stingray in our suburban garage. It was raining brutally outside, but the babysitter didn't want my sister or me in the house. So to the garage we went, where in a short time schwinn met rattlesnake. I should mention that this story has been independently verified and is not the product of a shaky memory reminiscing across several decades. Also, the snake's head, having been made independent of it's body - the baby sitter's doing - provided all the necessary evidence to our parents later on.

We speculated that the rattlesnake came from Onion dip. Onion Dip was the unofficial name of a huge field south of our subdivision where cyclists - of the motor and bi varieties - would ride the trails. It has long since become a mall, then an outlet mall, and finally morphed into something else, probably a flea market. In the center of Onion Dip was the fabled Devil's Dip. In my recollection Devil's Dip was a chasm the size of the Snake River Canyon. In reality it was probably a fairly large... well... um... dip.  Devil's Dip was mythical to the seven year old crowd. It was where legends were forged and dreams were shattered. As in, "Did you hear that Stevie's older brother made it through Devil's Dip on his bike? And lived!" Or, "You know how Mikey broke his leg don't you? Devil's Dip." (Followed by down-cast eyes and hushed silence with knowing nods).

The point is I grew up with a healthy fear of and respect for dips. To this day, when I see a road sign warning of a dip ahead I shudder just a little. To my mind dips are bad things. (Though a nice lump crab dip will momentarily change my perspective every time.) Further changing my thought on dips stands a book written by marketing guru Seth Godin. According to Godin in his coincidentally entitled book, The Dip, the dip (forgive the redundancy) is something to be embraced. The dip is a natural and necessary thing.

So what is the dip? The dip is that no-man's land that lies between initial results (or reward) and long-term success. And it is here, in this seeming chasm, that the future is determined. How we act and respond in the dip makes all the difference in the end.

Godin's book carries the subtitle, A Little Book that Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick). 

When to quit... and when to stick... That strikes me deeply. The concept creates two questions that are equally disturbing. I both hear and feel them ringing within like a tuning fork that has been struck and continues to resonate. The first, What do I need to quit? And the second, Where do I need to stick it out? At face value, these questions sound simplistic. But let them soak in just a bit. In fact, I'm going to do just that. In the next post I'll jump right back in with these all-important questions that must be addressed in the DIP. But for now I'm going to sign off mid-thought. I am asking myself these revealing questions. And I challenge you do the same.

(In my relationships... in my career... in my fitness/wellness lifestyle... 

in my spiritual life... etc.)

• What do I need to quit?

• In What area(s) do I need to stick it out - where I'm about to quit?

Sorry to leave you hanging. (Well, not really!)

For now...
D